The sleepy sun begins to stoop;
Calescent wheat emits a smell.
Shades of gold leap off the grass,
as tranquil warmth bids its farewell.
Fleeting train along the bed
with steam ill-fated for the sky --
First a whistle shrieks its sob,
then blurs of blue zoom swiftly by.
Once a calm and gentle field --
now the meadow's redefined.
Brains will thrust along the track,
but puffs of thought stay left behind.
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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sweet
You rock dude! Very well thought out. Thanks for the vision.
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Thanks for entering my contest!
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Wow! This is brilliant!
I love these lines:
"First a whistle shrieks its sob,
then blurs of blue zoom swiftly by."
and
"Brains will thrust along the track,
but puffs of thought stay left behind."
This is some powerful imagery! Nice job!
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Very well written. Smooth rhyme, never forced. Not cheezy, which is hard to do sometimes. I enjoyed reading this. I could be lying and just saying that...but I'm not
. Good write
Mylee -
wow I loved this, it flowed so well, and the imagery was awesome. I love the words you used too, especially in the last two lines of the last stanza. Awesome job on this!
~Michaela~
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what a great little poem you have here you masterfully craft your words to really squeeze all the imagery you can out of the surroundings...
i lOVE: "shades of gold leap of the grass"...this is most definitely my favorite line
a splendid metaphor about how urbanization has crept into the country...
and the last line is powerfully thought provoking....
there are always those lingering thoughts of what-ifs....
well penned.
thanks for entering & g'luck -
Smooth flow and wonderful rhyme... such beautiful imagery and I really enjoyed the closing. Well done.
Ken
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Great Imagery. I couldnt decide if I was in the train or in the field :-P Great Job as usual!
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