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A Promise

Silvered,
     rays reflect from ashed clouds,
          charioting across skies, watercolor blue

inscribed,
     within chestnut's knotted bark, a promise,
          lasting beyond the years, from me to you

fate,
     like the asp of branches, has seen the rain,
          I cry beneath its life, revisiting our view

laying beside your grave, in morning's dew

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Snippets (10 lines)

Artist unknown

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • JuneMarrie
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that bout made me cry...i love it! keep it up

  • imahealer
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, I'm crying. I am still in awe of any poet who in just a few words can bring the reader to an emotion, either happy, or sad. Your words took me back to the park bench marked in memorium for my best friend that was killed by a speeding car. Haven't thought of that day or that bench until I read your poignant words. Thank you for taking me back to her!

    Linda


  • Rhyming from Rehab
    June 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so sad and heartbreaking. Excellent imagery and emotion, made me cry. best to you in the contest!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    June 2, 2008

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    This is so heartbreaking! You really have drawn on emotion here and penned a magnificant piece that should be rewarded accordingly... stunningly sad write!!


  • shortyjo
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, full of love and sadness. I love everything about this, the form and the picture, and the words! You make it come alive. Great work.


  • Patpowers silver member
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Quite the work here JBL!

    I was impressed by this work here JBL. The words certainly grabbed my attention especially at the end. GOOD JOB!

  • a u r a
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    moving

    the last line wrenches out the heart-'laying beside your grave, in morning's dew'-these speak to me about ever afters -forevers- eternity- beyond time and place-'charioting across skies'-' lasting beyond the years'-I really liked this poem

1 - 7 of 7