I want to be left alone and yet I want the Love of a companion
I want to be happy and yet im inspired when im sad
I want all the joys and pleasures that life has to bring and yet im to lazy to per-sue them
I want to please God and yet I want to be able to sin and get away with it
I want to be a good role model and yet I want to do drugs and alcohol out-side of the views of my lil sisters
I want to be treated like a man and yet have the responsibilities of a boy
I want to do it all and have no responsibilities or consequences and yet this boy must become a man and put his childish ways behind him and be who God has destined for him to be.
TODAY I WILL BE THAT MAN!!!!
A contest entry
- GET YOUR POEMS OUT THERE by Ken-Maverick.
450 points, ended August 17, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Ok, the sentiment is there, which is good, but the execution can be cleaned up some. For example, I'd get rid of the all caps in the last line. I don't think it really adds to the determination the words exude. I think normal font, minus the exclamation marks, too, will leave the reader with more of an impact.
Also:
"per-sue"> should be pursue
and all the 'im' >> should be I'm
Everyone struggles with themselves on stuff like this.
-thanks for entering
-joan. -
Wow, I feel where you're coming from with this, even though *I've* never been there.
This reminds me of a playground game of tug-of-war, and I like the feeling I got when I read this! 
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Thanks for entering my friend
You know what you must do, so that's a start
so now its trying to achieve what "You Want" but so affraid to do.
Put that boy aside and become that man you're destined to be. God will guide you
Enjoyed the read
Ken -
be that man then. i was so touched because i know exactly how you feel.
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