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Not Nearly Ready

It hurts just to think of this,
But I'll drag it up anyway
to torture myself with
everything I couldn't say.
And the cross around my neck
so cold against my skin,
constantly reminds me of
what could have been.
Walking where we talked
just rips my heart
all over again.
I'm begging for a new start,
but I won't get that chance.
My heart screams and cries,
my head says shut up,
you'll be repaired
soon enough.

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