Rain flows down a feeble line,
and paints a most distressing sign.
Drench my thoughts in what was fine,
since sunlight soon withdraws its shine.
Lightning flicks its mighty cry,
as streams of birds pour through the sky.
Shades of dusk that span so high
depict a fear of late goodbye.
Leaves are blown with potent thrust,
as all my glee is trapped in dust.
A vivid tree that holds my trust
is thwarted by one final gust.
Storms extend beyond the trail,
as nuisance leaves my brain to fail.
Now my heart will likely wail
much louder than this pesky hail.
Author notes
Rhymes. Oh rhymes.
...a date was canceled because of bad weather...
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It becomes sadder than just the constant wonder if a tornado or any of such will come...
That projects the title, where it now seems to be biting at you creepily even though it's just weather when something important to you gets tripped on for long. Your first line is interesting, I immediately matched a telephone pole/wire, and kinda makes it creative if you got a call saying it's too dangerous to go wherever you were going to [or vice-versa.] Being easily rattled from a good mood, a large shower seeps through you per se, and floods that sureness. You have an organized detail of the clouds rolling over, thus your smiles too. "Lightning flicks its mighty cry, as streams of birds pour through the sky" is a grabbing metaphor, and it's call is like an eagle compared to a sparrow, causing all the eaglets to come down... It's even more dynamic as the living creatures, being alike, go for shelter at the same time. Line 7 brings a highlight of the time of day, yet patchworked, mirroring sunset in darker clouds.
I see how maybe, as real branches finally collapse after years of wear, the whole event in itself can cause you to fall during that short time in stanza three. "as all my glee is trapped in dust" creates a captivating picture, you can't remember what the decayed plant, etc it used to be, like a jigsaw puzzle. So, for comparison, it's raw because no one can count particles to find yours so to speak.
There's imagination in the ending, summing up the emotional hail even bigger than what falls to the ground, pounding in your mind. Just as even with exterior shakes, some are more sensitive to it long-term and others not.
Enjoying all the burstings from my prompt, thanks for entering,
Daisy -
This is really cool. You had a really great rhyme scheme going, not annoyingly complicated, just there. Its well flowing, and the rhyme doesnt seem forced at all. Great job!
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Lol, all it needs is a cat in a hat... Good rhymes man, good imagery of a storm too. have a clappy
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Wow a master of rhymes!!
Loved your subject...reminds me of my birthday's when I was little there was always a storm making it hard for anyone to come.
Great poem very well put together..didn't have to skip a beat reading it!!
Good luck my friend
darlintlc
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Oh wow, I think this is one of the writes I love
Sure, it's a short write but the way the descriptive words in each line gave that melancholy feeling was amazing
Cheers, it's a good piece
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I've always been jealous of poets who can rhyme so easily and beautifully ... and you are on my list now
Another delightful write that holds much strength and imagery, I love the 3rd stanza most ... seems to say more to me
Best of luck
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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rhymes indeed
great poem dear
i loved it keep it up!
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