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Time's elapsing

Beneath the ruins of my burdens I ly'

Gasping for breath I realize I might die

Stuck in this deteriorating hole, I with no control,

I feel the pain, I feel the pain

Blood rushing to my veins,

I shut my eyes so I don't see the pain between you I

All because of the shadows that passed and the mistakes I made,

As time fades I close my eyes so I don't feel the rush of pain

flowing to my veins.

 

 

A contest entry

well..............................

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • piccola silver member
    August 8, 2008

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    this could easily be made into a song. you could have a chorus of "with no control, with no control ... and then I feel the pain, I feel the pain ... I can almost hear it. It should be a bit longer though. Thanks for entering.


  • Mademokid
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    lol

    holy crap ur good

  • Mademokid
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice dude

    vary emotinal write


  • xXAlone insideXx
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this


  • Puppydog gold member
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WONDERFUL!!!!

    Time does seem to go on slowly when one feels hurt emotionally. The heaviness of ones heart and soul carries a deep sorrow which stays for a very long time. 's

1 - 5 of 5