Is It Early Enough for Me to Rescue This?

You are slipping away from me
Yet again

This feeling of exclusion
From learning of your omissions
Have become more frequent

It is not the first time
So I am able to see the warning signs

I do not know why I am so afraid
I know I need to let you go

But do I not have the right to be your closest?
After all this time,
Through rain, tears, temper tantrums
Changing schools and hour-long bus rides

I'm not blaming you for this
I know I'm the selfish, hypocritical one
And a part of me is happy for you
But I don't want you to become a stranger
Yet again

I am worried that someday
We will greet each other with awkward smiles
Then swiftly turn away
Unable to laugh away the tension

Only you have the ability
To make me feel this lonely
Even when I am amongst other friends