My last chance to save it all
Has passed me by
My only hope in the world is
All but lost
How could I have been so foolish,
How could I have seen it through?
I should have been proactive,
I should have made a stand
But instead I tried to save the
One i cared most about
How could I have been so foolish,
How could I have seen it through?
Now it's gone, it's life-less
I missed my opportunity
I could have made a difference...
Now no evil remains.
Author notes
This poem is intended to make the responder feel that something good has been lost, however, the last line, "Now no evil remains" reveals that the narrator is actually evil (although appears to show compassion)
the poem has been written with the purpose to show that evil can never be destroyed, and that evil and greed exist in disguise. The fact that the narrator says "Now no evil remains" is ironic, and implies that the statement is always false, and should never be said.
I understand that this poem is very basic, and if you have any ideas to improve it's protrayal of the message, i'd be happy to know, please leave a comment.
A contest entry
- One Last Time *****with a pic inspiration***** by rainyday woman.
875 points, ended June 13, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i like the idea the poem represents although it wouldnt be clear exept in the author notes ....good work!!!
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wow!
this great! and yep, i got the idea that something good was lost... it was pretty emotional! >.< Keep penning!
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good
evil and good exist together always hand and hand in the tragedy of life.
nice write.
good luck in the contest.
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A very interesting take on the picture. Thank you for intering my contest and adding your piece to bring a richness to it. Good luck.
Cheryl
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I see where you are going with this but IMO you ended on the wrong note... Everyone knows evil cannot be destroyed so rather than facing the irony of it all.. Why not show the darker side.. He has compassion all throughout the poem.. Well wouldn't that mean he would jus revert to pure demonic then if that side were to perish..? IMO though great write my friend with any luck I'll be able to challenge you again in contest in the future
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Just because a poem isn't filled with eloquent words does not make it less attractive to the reader. I like your poem. Shancy.
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yep, thanks for that, i changed it, and i agree, it does make more sense that way
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I like this poem a lot. The message behind it is very strong and vivid. The second stanza seemed awkward though.... I think it would sound better if the I's came before the have's.
Anyway, well done!
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