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Temptation

I stand here
Being drawn in by your beauty
Your promising look
Knowing what will happen if I come close I keep coming
I am captured by Temptation

Author notes

Author: Jake Brantley

A contest entry

What do you think? If you see something wrong tell me.

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Comments

  • AdulteratingDeploy
    June 29, 2008

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    Nicee.

    Short, sweet, and to the point. You could probably use a comma after close. But it's just a suggestion. You could keep it as is. Just thought i'd mention it. Very good write.

    [♥]K-mart


  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 31, 2008

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    Nicely done! I enjoyed this read, your flow and meaning are well done...love the ending...thank you for sharing!


  • reeseXtheXsoldier
    May 30, 2008
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    very nice! bravo and kudos!