Breaking free from a sea of torment. I rejoice at the freedom of life. Contemplating my prison is an undeniable feat. I can never be brought down. Rising up is all i will accomplish. i know that i can finally excell. You saved me from myself. As i lead my way through the storm my demons will not bring me back down. Grasp at me if you wish i will not fail. I will not be broken.
A contest entry
- 10/10 Quickie by buffsab99.
600 points, ended May 30, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I would appreciate feedback regardless of what it is im just looking to improve my poetry
Comments
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i do agree with the opne lice thing
but the poem its self was great
it is so good to hear that you will
keep moveing nomatter what comes your way
keep up the great atuded [i so spelled that wrong
much love,
pflw -
Excellent
Great write. I would have made the sentences shorter. Try one line per sentence, it will help the flow for the reader. Best of luck
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