a rough wave pushed you along
i looked up and you were gone
then i found you but dont you see
im ok that its over between you and me
i had a dream that you had died
yes i sat there and balled my eyes
but then i notice its just a dream
but the friendship is over and i am upset you see
the other dream was so much fun
but then later on the pain has come
you showed up and i walked away
and "thanks" was all you say
now that i finally moved on
i found my self, me is no longer gone
you were upset that i was ok
maybe we will see each other one day
i dont want it to be like this
ignoring me and pretending to be in bliss
that i am out of your life for now
and you say your are no longer bound
to the mistakes i made
and into acceptance i do fade
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You need to Capitalize your "I's" Line 4 would sound better with Me and you, verses you and me. Line 12 might sound better with "But thanks is all you had to say" You are a talented writer, This is a very touching poem, Finding yourself is one of lifes truly great works. Great Job
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its great the emotion and everything, i had someone who refused to be my friend after a relationship, he wouldn't even acknowledged that i existed : (
a spelling note, balled, however is spelld bawled
but other tan that IT IS AMAZING
it takes alot to get certain things out. good job
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