Where are my shades
my hat...my BEER
How did I end up
in these bushes down here
Last I remember
the meat on the grill
I ate like a pig
swapped girls with Big Bill
Laughing and dancing
and acting the fool
Jumping and splashing
in and out of the pool
So how did I end up
here all alone
My head is spinning...
I broke my darn bone
This one will sure be
one for the books
No need to remember
lots of pictures were took
Author notes
Picture by Shepherd23
A contest entry
- My Muse is an Amateur Photographer - Take a Look by shepherd23.
500 points, ended June 12, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is the second time I read this piece because I book-marked it to send the link to a friend who I thought would enjoy it also.
Even, as I read it a second time, it still enjoyable.
A very creative, imaginative and funny take on the picture.
Well written with good flow of the unforced rhyming verse.
A very enjoyable read!
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Thanks for reading "again" and your nice comment! This was one of my favorites glad it got read again...it's been just sitting there.
Hope your friend enjoyed it too!
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Excellent take on the picture and great flow of the rhyming verse--Very well done!
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Thanks for your kind words...glad u enjoyed!
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This one was very good I really like your stuff keep it up
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Thanks for your kind words on "How did I end up..."
This was fun to write!!
darlintlc
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Very cute and humorous! This was a delight to read and definitely puts a smile on the face.
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Thanks for reading and glad it made u smile!
darlintlc
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Haha that was very cute. The pool stanza was my favorite, because it really helped me imagine what possibly happened. The end was also very strongly written. Great write!
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Excellent! I was laughing all the way through! It read like a song and that made it even more fun! I loved it!
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Thanks so much for commenting on "How did I end up..."
I've had a few of those days!! lol
Thank goodness it's been awhile*cockoo*
Was out in the yard getting some much needed sun...I always forget to log out!! Sorry!!
Catch you later
your friend
darlintlc
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Nice story. I imagine some of the pictures might show things you might be surprised of
The poem itself (the words besides for the story) flows really well. There were a couple of lines that in my opinion (take it for what it's worth) are not quite as good as the rest.
The last line in the 4th stanza kind of stands out to me as not really fitting in, (not sure what would work better, but based on the rest of the poem it's clear you could come up with something if you feel as I do.)
Also didn't love the last line "lots of pictures were took" which seems to be the only line in the whole poem where the words were twisted and the rhyme seems more forced.
Maybe:
This one for sure
We'll be telling for years
Don't remember what happened
But the pictures are clear
Maybe something like this where the line reads straight.
Just my opinion of course, dispose of it at will.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment on "How did I end up..." I value your opinion and will consider it!
Thanks again
darlintlc
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searching for that lost shaker of salt
lol.... love this write .. and the pic ..
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So glad you got a laugh..it was fun remembering times like this!!
Thanks so much
darlintlc
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