where I run to
a place that no one knew
by the sea side
I take an endless horse ride
A contest entry
- TOP SECRET: exactly 20 words PIF by reeseXtheXsoldier.
525 points, ended May 30, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Love it!
Very good job ya Yasmina!
I adore horses and horse riding on the beach is spectacular - not based on experience though.
Congrats on the Honourable Mention,
keep on writing,
Nooni
-
I have also tended to have to prune my word limit writes.. it can be a pain but also good experience. I love the sea side.
-
good job...oh and you might want to edit that part where it shows the 1st two lines...it still has the old ones.
Thanks for you patience!
-
omg. take "by the sea" out of the title and put "a secret place" there. Then it will be perfect.
-
...that's still 22...
I have an idea. Make the first line (a secret place) the title and leave it out of the poem. that's cheating on the word limit. An alowable cheat, however. A lot of my poems start in the title!
oh...you'd have to add a word somewhere...
you could add "forever" to the end of line 6.
or "down" to the begining of line 4...
-
still is 24 words. And know should be knows.
-
I like this...you make me yearn to have this secret place for my own. A great write and take on the prompt . Good luck in the contest.\
Kelli -
oooh, i like it!
very nice...too many words though...that's 28 words. I asked for 20. Please fix. I don't want to DQ you 
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
