Express the sheer inner glee,
feet stamp in rhythm of the Hopi
worries loosened- trouble me free
and dance along with Kokopelli
My hair unbound- hop, skip, twirl
forest spins around in whirl
better not stop or else I might hurl-
carefree falling to the ground in a curl
Humpback obscene without discretion
vital, virile forest obsession
gesture awakens, slowly he beckons
flute notes building, guiding my direction.
Swelling he plays and increases my ache
my longing and yearning inside my heartache
hiding in waterfall, I quell and I shake
nude I wash my tears while I quake.
Released, I'm free to dive in this pool
natural green surrounds, there are no rules
healing the pain, not be played the fool
seeking within to bring out the jewel
I thank him before he breaks his spell
before I crawl back to my shell,
I hide behind, and think to myself- "oh well"
temporary release of my personal hell.
Perhaps, someday, someone will see me
past the shell, this wall of uncertainty
worries loosened- trouble me free
and dance along with Kokopelli.
Author notes
For more information on Kokopelli:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kokopelli
In a list
A contest entry
- Esacape! by azlyn.
499 points, ended June 1, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Awesome! not many people know about Kokopelli. You did a wonderful job of expressing yourself here and it was an amazing write!
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This was good. I liked how you used him as a release. You should use more punctuation to show which lines are injamed and which are not. It could get a little confusing. Good job though!
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Cute background!
~*~*~*Awesome*~*~*~
Great write! I found it really enjoyable! Thanks so much for the share! You are very talented! I really cannot wait to read more of your works and comment on them as well!!!!
I'd love to hear back from you, so feel free to take a look at my work and comment on it!!!!
Thanks again! (Very cute and tribal like background! LOVE IT!) HEHEH!
~*~*~*Heroesrox~*~*~*~
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Congrats on winning the gold. This poem really deserves to be recognized and given something, so I'm glad you recieved that for your efforts. My friend's god of choice is kokopelli and I've grown used to her kokopelli-type-moods, so this poem really speaks to me on that level. Trickster gods can be so amusing to watch, but also a bit dangerous and troubling. I think the part when you said you might hurl, I think a lot of us feel that dizzy when dealing with kokopelli. Great job. I hope to read more from you in the future
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There you are! how are you? congrats on the gold. I really like the background. Nice job. I guess you noticed the library colapsed but we brought it back ... I'll let sun singer run it in case I go nuts again. Really happy to see you
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AWESOME !!!!!!
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Hood-Wink!
This was quite a challenge and you created an excellent story, with a wealth of description for the reader...I love your interpretation of Kokopelli...there are one or two forced rhyming lines but I still found this creative poem engaging in its subject, congratulations on the gold
You have been Hood-Winked by a Poetic Bandit
Love and smiles
~Lilac 
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OH MY!!! I want to dance this dance!!! A beautiful escape that really touched me...thank you so very much for this beautiful poem! I loved your rhyme and rhythm!!!
Az -
Very beautiful and inspirational.
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"Perhaps, someday, someone will see me
past the shell, this wall of uncertainty"
That about sums this up!
You've done well with the monorhyme here and although some arent perfect rhymes, they fit because the line lengths are short and quick. I love the background too and if I was still posting here, I'd thieve it
Love you,
Laura x
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I thank him before he breaks his spell
before I crawl back to my shell,
I hide behind, and think to myself- "oh well"
temporary release of my personal hell.
Perhaps, someday, someone will see me
past the shell, this wall of uncertainty
worries loosened- trouble me free
and dance along with Kokopelli. wow wonderful poem thank you for sharing with the group good luck in the contest
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I love the bg and of course the rhyme. Rhyme is my favorite. This is wonderful!
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No idea why I clicked this, cos I've been terrified of Kokopelli since I was a kid and the background's giving me that creeped-out feeling. I like your poem, though, especially the last stanza; it's a perfect ending to it. The metre feels a little rough and is inconsistent, but you have some great images.
Good luck in your contest!
hiraeth. -
I'm in... I don't know this dance but I can fake anything... Wonderful write.
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