Whoosh... and the sonar ray reflects an unborn boy. Perfect in the eyes of dad.
Ripples in the muddy water disturb the child’s face as she plays at the pool’s edge.
And it reflects, those fluffy, funny clouds perfectly above her head.
A man died last night. Stabbed and robbed for lack of flight. Wheelchair bound as was his sole possession. Too perfect a reflection of a violent society.
There cowers a boy before his dad. About to be struck in wrath with the kind hand of reproach. See he who fears not the perfect reflection of his past.
Man starves and looks to the stars. Seeing ideas, reasons and gods, the answers come. Perfect in His own reflection.
And so the cradles rock to and fro.
The ocean is calm tonight. And the moon lights the water silver and white,
in the most perfect of all reflections.
A contest entry
- Celebrating 100 days on AP- Contest is to catch the moment of perfect reflection by Topaze.
900 points, ended June 3, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Congratulations on winning an HM trophy, Poet!!!
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Wonderful Ideas
I kind of wish this was more than one poem, or atleast longer.
I really just like everything about it, I think its a little to brief though.
Actually never mind, its perfect.
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Wow
Your poem is really nice =D I like. It sounds very deep and perceptive ^^ And it's sad in a way, and very well done =) Way to go XD
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Strange style... Seems to be a personal poem to you which is good. It is full of emotions and poetic devices. I think possibly if you added a background and worked on the form a little bit, you'd be good to go, but thats just my thought.
Well done and thanks for sharing
--Tim -
awesome
Its a great poem to read. The language you use in it fits really well.
my favourite lines are:
And so the cradles rock to and fro.
The ocean is calm tonight. And the moon lights the water silver and white,
in the most perfect of all reflections.
Thank you for sharing this poem with us all, i would definitely read more of your writing.
Keep writing,
Holly x.
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Hmmm i guess it was kinda creative with really nice imagery... haha but i guess just not really my cup of tea... but good job anyway
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Brilliant!!!
Very creative imagery, outstanding use of metaphor, awesome surrealism to the core within your "reflections" of life!!! So glad I found your masterpiece shimmering in the glow of our beautiful, yet tragic, human reality this morning!!! I love your awesome poem, and will be back to read more!!! Write on, shine on, Poet!!! Best of luck in this contest, you have a winner here!!! Peace, Cyn
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Very well written with lovely flow and wording. Well Done! Thank you for your fine entry in the contest.
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