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Without Purpose

Seeming a darkly sight
Remained upon my side
Stumbling and fumbling
Warm copper falling
Liquid and alone

Hands slowly to rise
Leaving their mark
The hallway painted
As a body falls cold
Drifted away from this
Eyes staring above

Warm hearts and dead ones
Come and recount my death
Watch as I took my life
And judge me not until
I know I disappointed you



Bustling busy streets
The darkly alleyways
Smoke rising asphalt
And a stinging silence

A sundered metal fence
Reached around the post
Self pulled onto the bars
Tearing into this self
And let it all drain
With the pain's moan
And watch now:

Limp against my means
Slowly pulling away
The gentle spray release
A moment of pain and none
Then stumbled here we know
Wonderment how I lived
As no purpose was needed here
It was a can and a did
And now a cannot and did

So judge my corpse now
For it cannot blame you
For it can no longer blame

Author notes

BeMeBeInsane. BTW, I'm going to have to go with Option 5, with the act of committing suicide without sounding too cliche. Also, keep the brownie points, I just do it to challenge myself, just comment please. Thanks.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Play Pretend.
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Someone is a little arrogant.
    But i'm not here to judge you, just your poem.
    Well, you're right, you don't sound cliche.
    But then i didn't really get anything out of this poem.
    I didn't like the flow of the poem, and it sounded like you were trying to hard to succede without paying attention to how it actually sounded. But that's just my oppinion, so don't take it to heart.
    Thanks for entering my contest nonetheless.


    • BeMeBeInsane
      May 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      None taken, really. But that was the whole point of it all really. Me being totally against the idea of suicide decided it best that I would write this piece to seem senseless. As is suicide itself. There is no real point to the poem, and in turn that is the point. Thanks for pointing that out though. And thanks for the comment. It's really rare that a contest holder will actually post a comment. That is my brownie point from you. Thank you again.