A cunning linguist
Your smooth tongue dangles seductive words
With the intent to entice Young Eve.
One would have thought
That since your first time in the Garden
You'd have learned that God curses snakes.
Your lies and half-truths
Have no place in these Fields of Grace,
Your flowery words fall to the rocks and die.
You see, Young Eve~
She's not that easy to persuade,
She's heard enough lies to know the Truth.
I am the New Adam,
She and I walk free in our Garden ~
One that our Father has created just for us.
His Angels are at the Gates,
Fiery swords in hand and always on guard.
Lucifer, just leave well enough alone.
The Father is watching...
Judgment awaits those who harm His Children ~
Especially those who use His Name in doing so.
"He will not escape the darkness;
A flame will wither his shoots,
And the breath of God's mouth will carry him away."
~Job 15:30
Author notes
No Snakes allowed in Eve's new Paradise, she's been through enough.
This piece was written as a freewrite to exterminate a snake that was slithering through my head, yet some people feel the need to post negative comments. If you wish to comment on the poem, itself, the lines, structure, that would be wonderful. Negative comments not pertaining to this write will be deleted. If they continue, the user will be blocked from commenting on this or any of my work. I am on this site for the sake of the art, not for drama. Thank you.
In a list
A contest entry
- Paradise City by Kari.
300 points, ended June 10, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Ah, that would be wonderful if no snakes where allowed. Life then would indeed be perfect with no worries.
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If you'd like...
I do have other poems that y'all are welcome to comment on! I have one on Sarajevo 1992 that is getting wonderful comments...Writes on faith, daily life, etc...There's more to me that New Adam & Young Eve... -
Speaking of Eve she was treacherous at the time, for she adulterated with the serpent, so she produced the serpent race that are still amongst us
I think not a good name for the lady in your life
Otherwise a very sweet write.
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Not really sure where that came from, guess we're not reading the same Book. After the fall of man, they were cast out of the Garden. The fall was not adultery, but rather they disobeyed God and chose to listen to the Master Deceiver (the same thing happened in Heaven pre-Creation: a third of all angels for just a fleeting glance took their eyes off God and looked at His glowing Creation: Lucifer, thus damning them for eternity). The only snake people I see anymore are the ones who use others to get what they want - and many times with a smile on their face & beautiful words...
Thank you for the "very sweet write" comment. I do hope people do realize this was not a retelling of Creation nor about the real Eve (regardless of what version). It's a clarification that Young Eve is with her New Adam in a brand new Paradise, one where snakes are not allowed, so please leave them alone.
Eve is the mother of man, I have no problem in referencing her. CS Lewis even referred to her in his Narnia tales: Sons of Adam, Daughters of Eve - and he was a devout atheist until the Light revealed Himself to Lewis.
BTW, my Love's name isn't Eve, it's ~Lisa~
~Tim
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Deep!
Very slick writing, fellow poet. "Young Eve, She's not that easy to persuade, She's heard enough lies to know the truth." An Eve for the modern era. Good job.
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Thank you ~
"An Eve for the modern era." I like that! Yeah, she's a tough girl but hasn't been so jaded that she's not still very much a woman.
Not bad for on the spot, eh? lol Yeah, just had this image of a snake slithering around in my mind and I had to exterminate it.
Thank you!
~Tim
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Retreat
Perhaps a time to ponder. Is there hope for our youth who dream of Utopia with a God. And does God's angels watch over the young Eve's of the world. Interesting write you have penned Tim
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Interesting ponder...
I would like to think so. This poem was written more as a representation of a situation I am 3rd party of, but still, spiritually speaking you raise good questions.
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lovely poem, though in my opinion the snake was a race of people called serpentine who offered eve, [symbolic of church system]the knowledge to control mankind. I am not speaking of the church here as you think.
in my opinion they are beautiful, sly and cunning as any serpent.
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Thank you, altho in all honesty, this write was not based on theology or historical reference. But from my view point, the church does not control mankind. When practiced correctly and not as a means of abuse, faith can do wonders. People who view religion or faith as a means to control honestly don't know my God.
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