forgive the sun who did not shine
i had asked her in to dine
forgive the birds who did not fly
i told them to watch you walk gracefully by
forgive the bells that did not ring
i had asked them not to sing
forgive the wind that swept up your home
she needed some company, she was all alone
forgive the fog for rolling in
he wanted to cloud the bad places you've been
forgive the man who hit you, and such
he had problems, and problems with much
forgive the words i have spoken in spite
they are not truthful, and they are not right
forgive the shadow that ladens your heart
he loves you so, he cannot part
forgive the world that shuns you so
it is ignorant, it does not know
forgive and forget
let live and let go
those things are the past
ahead's a new road
forgive yourself for always blaming it on you
it's not your fault, just begin anew
to forgive's the only way
though life may seem like a tease
to put your life back together
piece by little piece
forgive
Author notes
http://ditenoci.deviantart.com/art/Angel-87117536
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lose Yourself in Words by myusikah.
425 points, ended June 11, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get The Gold for a pre-write by piccola.
300 points, ended June 3, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - May Tolerance and Child Abuse Prevention Contest by Page Shut down.
600 points, ended June 6, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Inspired Contest by xTomorrowx.
600 points, ended June 5, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever by crazymomma.
450 points, ended June 9, 2008, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 2008, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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a-w-s-o-m-e!
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thanks!
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This is great it feels like your speaking to the reader and I'm sure alot of people could learn alot from this (including me!) way to go
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Very good. It seems as though you're speaking to me, because that was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Nice work.
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Now I feel dumb. I needed advice from a 13 year old and I am almost 40. This was awesome! You have a great life ahead and are very talented
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but a lot of people think i look and act wayyy older than i really am. guess i should probably change that on my profile, huh?
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lolz! thank you! but seriously, i'm only 12
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in some point is true... but at other is hard to move on and let go of guilts you self inflicted on.. great write and good luck!
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Wow, an extremely unique look on that picture I am sure, I can honestly say I did not even think of the picture in this way until I read your poem, thankyou for opening my eyes up to another view, it's always good to look at things from a different perspective....
The write was good, the rhyme might've been a bit forced in some places, but most of it flowed well, and I can definitely say I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks heaps for entering and best of luck in my contest! -
"forgive the shadow that ladens your heart
he loves you so, he cannot part" I love those lines. Most of this was A+ but If it were mine (it's not yadda yadda
) I would leave out some things ... make it more concise, tighten it up. I would delete everything up to these lines:
forgive the world that shuns you so
it is ignorant, it does not know
then put in something like ... (just a thought)
Like cleansing rain and morning dew
forgive yourself, begin anew -
forgive and forget
let live and let go
those things are the past
ahead's a new road
forgive yourself for always blaming it on you
it's not your fault, just begin anew
to forgive's the only way
though life may seem like a tease
to put your life back together
piece by little piece
forgive wonderful life is to short not to forgive good luck in the contest
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Fantastic meaning, such a wonderful poem to read if only we all thought like this
♥
Thank you for your entry in the May Tolerance & Child Abuse Prevention Contest
Stay safe
~Manda
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That's nice. It's really pretty. I like the background you chose for it too. It fits.
It's dark, and you opened your heart in the soul of the poem. I wish you good luck!
--> pia♫♪
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Amazing
I'm stunned by the beauty of this poem, it's really well written and it just flows out of your mouth as you read it in a beautiful way. May you have best of luck with this poem in the contests. -
Beautiful..
I love your imagery.. It's so vivid and strong..
And your metaphors were not misplaced in any part here.. I love the journey that you took everyone on.. And the forgiveness that you show here is just wonderful.. Thank you very much for sharing.. I loved this..
Best of luck.
Angel
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well written and interesting your images and metaphors are powerful and your way of bringing it together to show the idea of ultimate forgiveness and moving forward comes together perfectly
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wow, thanks, nice comment. have a good one
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Excellent
This is amazing. Asking forgivness while putting your life together. Best of luck in this contest
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lolz, i meant LUCK, not LOOK!
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thank you. coming from you, it means a ton. have a great day, and best of look for the contest!
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Thank you
Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I am just an acverage writer most of the time
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