How to Reach Pancake Status

  The couch never feels the same way as it did last time. Whatever sitting in it does, it certainly changes it. There's no science to it because it has nothing to do with observation. Being a couch potato is an art. But I'm not getting picked up until nine so there's more than enough time to get comfortable. Or maybe we can stay here. Saturday has many options for a man who lives on his couch.
  I'm lying down. I like to close my eyes and just focus on what's not quite right. Probably the pillow needs a couple of punches so I can support this sore tendon in my neck. I'm a great, big, proverbial pancake, to quote Homer Simpson. Where's my syrup?
  As can be predicted, I'm incomplete without my proper snack. But I've reached couch pancake status. I know what to do, though. When I'm in this position, when I can melt into the couch and adjust myself by the little inconsistencies in my weight distribution, when the normal senses we got from having to survive become secondary, I have a super power. It won't really sound silly once I say it. If I let go of the world around me and just focus on my couch, I can summon things just by believing in them. I passionately believe in salt and vinegar Pringles. I also believe in cable movies.
  My super power is hard to use, but once I get going I can make it work. It's a learning process. You just need to forget the couch which is achieved when I reach pancake status. Life taught me to be practical and play the odds, but my couch and cable have taught me to just believe. As ridiculous as it sounds, it works.
  See, it's not actually that complicated you just have to pay attention. I figure movies have some truth to them because we make them and we can only make what we know. And we can only know what we've learned. A pretty common theme in movies is that the main character needs to correct something about himself to achieve his goal which is usually against most odds. A lot of the time he needs to learn to let go and just have faith sometimes. If you just believe, you can have it. The right mindset can get you anything. It took a lot of lying on the couch and a lot of TV, but once I learned that, I got my super power. The people who make movies don't have my super power because they haven't reached pancake status like I have. But for them, it's not a bad reality to be stuck in. I wonder if they could be like me if they would want to let go of reality. It did get me my Pringles.
  It doesn't stop at Pringles though. I've danced with mythical creatures. You really think they don't exist but they came from our stories. Children believe in them too, they're just not couch pancakes. I've seen a lot of good movies where once in a while a nonbeliever will learn to just let go of that logic that tells him fantasy is not real. But once he does, he learns, and he achieves happiness.
  Well I'm happy. I know the truth and I have my Pringles, and my couch, and my TV, and my mythical creatures. If you learn to just believe, just have faith, to sometimes realize that despite all logical odds anything is possible, then you can be just like me.