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Invisible Ink

You left me a note
When I bought you that drink
But I think your pen has
Invisible ink

Author notes

It was longer but Max Ritvo hates it.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Max Ritvo
    May 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's magic like that.

  • Max Ritvo
    May 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think it'd work just like that.

  • Max Ritvo
    May 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I would cut everything except for your first four lines. It has so much kick- but it loses it's tension and grace.
    • David Berry
      May 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Do you think it would work that short or should I try some other ending