With promises of deific stature and self will,
Vile echoes of an ancient lie stalk the soul.
Compelling, then ensnaring in equal measure,
As honest truth is unravelled into the pit.
Noxious words ooze thickly into eternity
As pitiless angels view immortalities demise.
So unfulfilled souls in ceaseless torment drift,
Their vain foolishness costly beyond reckoning.
One command, one fall, one price for all,
Dust to dust our unenviable inheritance.
We grasp for comfort in our dread malaise,
Belatedly mourning just how wrong we were.
Author notes
"All wrong"
I guess that the option that fits best is 3
This was a real so and so to write, so I apologise if it stinks! You know how it is, when you have read the same line for the 1000th time
A contest entry
- All wrong More options added!!!! by toomysterious.
575 points, ended June 5, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I see why you won gold.This is perfectly worded and the flow is great.The subject is a good one.You cannot tell that you had a hard time writing this.This looks likes and feels like it was written with alot of thought and care and that you took your time to get it just right.
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I dont know how to respond or even how to interpret this poem, are you describing an afterlife in a christian sense or using this poem for a metaphor of a mass lie told to the world in our present state? eother way the poem is written very well, well enough to give you an applause i dont ussually give unless its free, great job
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This was written more as a Christian work, but also allowing people to make it their own, in whichever way pleases them. Ty for your kind comment
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Awesome job. Keep up the great work and keep writing great pieces like this one!!! You have enough talent for probably all of us here at Allpoetry! Truly a great write. Such an astoudning and amazing job. If you feel like it, check out my poems and feel free to comment them! Be honest, please! Thanks so much for sharing this piece with all of us here at Allpoetry!
Oh, I just started a new contest! Please take a second to view it and try your hand at it if you wish!
Here is the link to my new contest! http://allpoetry.com/contest/2431805
Thanks so much! Have an awesome day!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Hereosrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* -
super
obviously, this doesn't stink.
very remeniscint of lord of the rings in my opinion.
great write, love it! -
jaded teardrop
Oh my god... this is such an amazing poem!!! You definetly deserved the gold. The imagery that you put in to this poem was stunning. The word choice that you used was really amazing. Wow, I really loved this poem. good job and congradulations on your gold!!!
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Wow awesome job, love the imagery! Congratulation on your Gold!
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A hint of self-delusion here? I like where you went with the idea. Good luck in the contest.
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This does not stink we are our on worst critic but I think that you did well with this piece thanks for sharing goodluck in the contest much love
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