I am not so wispy yet
that I can fly
to her side
and leave such a kiss,
against her soft cheek,
as she lies with tousled hair
beneath the blue gray of the moon,
but,
in the dream
when I brushed her
lower lip
in the hallway
and turned away,
she said,
"do that again",
in a small voice.
Author notes
Written December 26th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- A Kiss by strangerforeigner.
405 points, ended September 5, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 89 of 89
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That's why a dream is not a reality.
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Loved the simplicity!! But it still speaks in volumes and has allure and mystery in the words. Well Done!!
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alluring and provocative...I love the simplicity of this piece, I'll be looking at your work now, for sure
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Wow, This poem was beautiful. I really enjoyed reading it.
"in the dream
when I brushed her
lower lip" Loved the piece. Congratulations on winning bronze with this piece
-Steve- -
This is really well done. The first stanza leaves that longing feeling yet the soft anxiety of "I'm not ready" working the heart and mind and the last stanza leaves such a vivid impression that you cannot help but to acutally strain to feel it. Very impressive piece
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dreams are always where we want to be. funny, i don't see a ghost in this at all. i feel wispy here is perhaps comfortable enough, carefree enough with someone to engage in a kiss such as the one you speak of, a real one, not just the [beautiful] one in your dreams...the one in your dreams, it is sexy, too. lol. enjoyed.
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I would rather be shown than told, but that is just personal choice. I have had similar moments to this one you write of. Congratulations on your bronze cup.
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Such great imagery and poingnancy. You paint such wistful emotions into this poem. Well done. Good luck and thanks for entering!
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Thank you for entering this fine piece. I really liked the story in this one; It was slightly shorter than I generally like poetry to be however it works. But unfortunately you did not follow the simple directions. So ... maybe next time.
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Wonderful...!!!
Too good...it seems as if I was the one dreaming. This poem is simply cute and innocent. It's like a fresh whiff of air, a new lease of life. The last line of the poem, standing alone in a sheepish manner, exuding tender longing, tempts me to read the poem all over again. Oh, for the beauty of the feeling! What wonderful work. Good luck and God bless
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this is honestly one of the best poems i've ever read ... everytime i read it i get goosebumps
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oh how i wish i was that wispy...
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The moments that might have been missed, if not for a kiss...beautifully written.
~Rain
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dreamy...but yesssss touchy
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A ghost's dream of love... beautiful....
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Dreams of love are the best. The longed-for, unrequited kiss in a dream from one's beloved. Good topic for a poem and nicely done.
John Carney
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AWwwwwww!!!! This is sooo sweetttttt. I love it. It kinda reminded me of a fairy for some reason. Great job!!!!
Guin
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One of my favourite areas in the whole world is the "lower lip in the hallway" God I love that place. By the way, this is a great piece of writing.
David
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Aw, this was such a sweet and lovely piece. It's so beautifully written and the words just make you want to sigh... I love it, keep up the fantastic writing.
xKaitlynx
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very sweet, very nice. so wistful and full of longing. speaks of wanting to be worthy of love from the one you love. wonderful.
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Such a beautiful write. I really enjoyed reading it. It is very sweet. It is written beautifully.Look forward to reading more of your work.
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Awww, a nice imagage, and beautiful words. Good job.
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i love that its brilliant -
Sweet and lovely.
Great write.
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woow this is above my feelings great jo
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Ok why must I cry when I truly love a poem , This is so not good. You did a fantastic job writing this and you brought tears of happiness to my eyes. I really felt as if i could be laying there and feeling it and it is a mind numbing feeling. Thank you for sharing this . I loved it!!!!!
Poeticanjil -
AWWWWWWWWW
This is so sweet!
I got goose bumps as I read the last 3 lines.
Very good!
she said,
"do that again",
in a small voice.
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Oh that is so sweet! I loved it
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This is lovely.
~Lyrical
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Delish!
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Nicely penned. This is as delicate as the kiss you describe. Very understated, and therein lies the beauty of it.
Thank you for sharing.
rous
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Wow, it is simple, but effective, and absolutely beautiful. well done xx
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That's realy good!
I realy liked it, never realy read a poem that is soo simple yet so big!
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sweet.
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yes, 'ephemeral'
in the moment. quite beautiful!
thanks for entering your jouissance
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Ephemeral
What a lovely poem. Beautifully expressed. I can't write love poems - maybe I have never been in love! Clicked this on Cherokee's page and I'm glad I did. -
pretty and very touching so sweet my dear
I am not so wispy yet
that I can fly
to her side
and leave such a kiss,
against her soft cheek,
as she lies with tousled hair
beneath the blue gray of the moon,
love it!!! -
*sigh* this is very touching. you have to enjoy the kisses like that. they are the best...mind you most kisses are good
lol. the sweet ones like that are so much better, great write. keep it up.
best wishes
~sexi.me~ -
awww short, but very cute. i liked it alot!
Yours truly,
~Diarygrl -
Oh how sweet and touching.
Great imagery you created.
This is so soft and alluring,
like a gentle kiss.
Thank you for sharing.
Jeannie D Hunter
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Great poem. Passionate and sensually erotic. The feelings shine through into this piece to make the imagery so powerful it's breath taking. Truely amazing write. The flow and rythm are like a calm river running downstream. Magical. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing!
Peace
~marie lee
xxx -
Heavenly kiss of a poem...
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very Good
Nice, Way to go, simple and Sweet -
this is a very cute poem i loved the discription at the begining keep up the good work
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This is sweet, it's like that first real crush, the one where you think you're in love but don't even know that you have know idea what love is. This type of poem may be the best type, it captures a sort of inocense that is hard to find.
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Very good
Very nice, with a kinda cute quality. Good flow and a mischievious touch. -
This is such a sweet poem. Very well-expressed..I loved the description in the first para...Keep it up!!!
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That was very cute. I enjoyed it a lot. cute ending too. very sweet. nice. I don't know what else to say but I like it a lot.
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it reminds me of a kiss I would wish to recieve. You are very talanted.. keep up the excellent writing
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from the point of a small voice great messages can be heard
keep writing for there is a great hope that we may all see
love the papa -
That's very sweet and truly endeering. Most love, kiss poetry does not work well. It is usually overdone. Yours is so simple and yet so full of meaning. You did a great job conveying what you were thinking. Also good line breaks. The flow is nice though it breaks a little. It's very nice to see a well written love poem, as most are not. Good job.
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cute pice. seeems to me that it may be of a young romance. i enjoyed reading! great job n thanks for sharing
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Very short, but sweet!! The emotion is there and it is a beautiful poem, even thought there is not much description.
Very well done
xXx -
Tousled hair is wonderful .. tousled anything is quite good, I think covers, flowers in a cottage garden, the sea....even just the word itself is so pretty. That mixture of esses and ells .. I swear I must have commented on this ages ago or maybe I didn't because its so .. dreamy and perhaps I didn't want to wake up the dream.
Lower lips are very good too .. aren't they. Yes. They are. How very silly to turn away though ..
I like when you pull them from the vault. Hey! Not too long this one. Maybe www.getbetterepoet.com doesn't want you anymore.
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This is very good!! Oh so romantic and sweet. I love it. This is very well worded, and just beautifully written. Thank You for sharing with us all. Best Wishes
Brandy
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I really liked the dreamlike quality of this piece, and its slice of reality which I, too, have experienced. Great write!
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I loved this poem. It has such great imagery, and it's just so sweet. I don't know how to say why I thought this poem was great, but I loved it...it's a poem that makes the reader feel so good , for lack of better words. Excellent writing here, keep it up! Muchas amor, Amanda
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Beautiful, Sweet, Unique
Awwww wow, this was really sweet & unique of a poem! I loved it
Truely I did, how you wrote it was touching & filled my heart with a lil bit of love! You have did a amazing job here! Thanks for sharing this piece! God Bless and hold tight to your sweet love
♥ Sedusha ♥
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It brings to mind your first kiss. I love it.
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'in the dream
when I brushed her
lower lip
in the hallway
and turned away,
she said,
"do that again",'
I have dreams like this poem and I wish that I had your skill in conveying what I want to say. But the simplicity and feather weight of the words and the flow in this piece create a real atmosphere of the ehtereal and the j\kind of make believe Peter Pan world that lots of us dream that we're in when we are with the one that we love. Nice write, thanks for sharing.
Avian -
That is soo cute, and romantic at the same time! I liked this poem. It makes me wish for the person not to be dreaming. I like "I am not so wispy yet" alot, thats a really good line. Great job!
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very nice, reminds me of something...but i don't know what. such a soft feel to it, too. leaves a nice feeling behind...great work!
--jenna -
I really liked this, it was a very cute piece. Keep on writing.
Blessed be,
Lefay -
Very adorable, lovely write friend........
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How romantic! This is one of those "oh so cute" writes that warms the heart, and makes you believe in love all over again! Amazing write, and so poetic...-sigh- Keep writing, especially about love, you do it expertly! You have such a great interpretation of an almost indescribable feeling!
best wishes! -liz
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wow short and sweet really sweet
as i was reading your poem i thought of the scene from romeo and juliet the newer one with leonardo dicaprio when they were kissing in the elevator im not sure if you have ever seen it but you should LoL
good job
~Mya -
this is so sweet. I love the simplicity of this, you've really brought the kiss to life somehow. I like how you don't get all sappy with how you miss her or something but just stay on topic. this is a lovely poem, keep writing!
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Short, sweet and too the point. It's very innocent sounding but if it were anyother way it would ruin the effect. I like your imagry and the flow of your words only compliments the rest of the work.
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Very Sweet
This is a great poem, I love how soft it is. That makes it so lovely. Gives a little hope too, very nicely done. -
Way cute. Short but sweet and to the point! I definately enjoyed reading this one! Nice work!
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Excellent
Dreams carry us where feet cannot...or will not. How wispy do you need to be to follow? Interesting poem. I love the softly understated "story" of it, as well as the lovely cobbling together of sounds and imagery. Very nicely done poetry, I think.
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good write
Cute lil poem! I love this! Nive write...
~laura -
exsquisite
This is beautiful! So fluid and soft. Like the climbing Whisteria you've chosen as your background, it makes you reach out for more... "do that again"! ~Michelle~ -
WONDERFUL
The poem above is so wonderful! I thought that it had a great flow to it. I enjoyed reading this. Please post more... I would really enjoy reading these kinds of poems more. I think you area a great poet, u deserve points for this. Let me tell you, you got such a talent. I have been writing for 2-3 years. And i think this one is such amazment. -
The voice of this poem is so nice. I truely enjoyed every line of it. Pen on, poet.
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Nice dream, nice little write. La x
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Oh wow...my God...so subtle and beautiful at the same time. Just...wow...so many layers you could apply without even touching a superficial meaning...just...wow...
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I looked at this poem and was lost for words, so I left it. Somehow, I've been drawn back to it and have stared at it for the past ten minutes, trying to fathom why I love it so much.
And now I've decided that it doesn't really matter. What matters is the fact that its addictive and thta you should know it.
~Faded -
Oh, any poem titled "The Kiss" and written by you would demand my attention, and as this is the first poem I have read after some break, I am delighted by its softness, and one could just close their eyes and loose themselves in the feeling of it...
Absolutely lip lockable.
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Le sigh!!!! To busy daydreaming about the romance to really comment.
---- for a dreamy eyed look and hope
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why does that worm always pick on me when i say something.
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Don't they all? In their still small voices? Then some other ones come and drop adjectives at your feet, like squishy and tinkly, as if that's gonna make things better. Cosi fan tutte, etc.
Too wispy for my own good.
Also: liked the Pome. -
wispy and fizzy and squishy and pippy and tinkly
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nice dream. I love the closing lines..
so small and perfect.
~Scarlet -
Such lovely images with this piece but what put a smile on my face was the line, "do that again"
Nice.
Desiree
Edited on Dec 26, 7:16 p.m. because ''. -
Lute, you have done it again, taken something so innocent as a kiss and gave it wings to fly. Take care, Lissa
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Love this. So pure and simple and visual to my eyes! Hmm..you spoke the minds of the readers. (Only, it usually happens near the closet door) lol....
Beautiful. I've heard great things about your writing. Myra has been one of my dearest in mentors to others. Blessings this year. CookieZeal
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She DID? Wow. I would never have guessed ... Did you then ... ? And ...? Again ...?
Wispy, you said? Hmmmmmmmmm.
Whatever.
You did kiss her and she did ask for a retry ...
If it worked in the dream, perhaps it will work in reality too 
Myra
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Oh yea... yea
"I am not so wispy yet
that i can fly" just how brilliant is that ... damn wish i'd written that...
What else can i say... i just sit back and sigh.
Merry Christmas to You dear Lute
~ Wendy
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