Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Sarajevo 1992

Missing image
It was 1992 in war-torn Sarajevo
Where smoke and ruins had replaced my home.
Our people waited in line for bread
Making sure their children were fed,
And all I had left were clothes and my cello.

Once a joyous city, our cheers quieted by bombs
And the aftermath had made a memory of laughter.
I sat in the remains of the library
And played an old folk melody...
For just a moment we smiled through ashen teardrops.

Author notes

Word prompt: Ashen Teardrops.

When I focused on "ashen" I thought of something that was destroyed, and then "teardrops"...What came to mind were war victims. Inspired also by the Savatage CD "Dead Winter Dead," which is dedicated to the war victims of Sarajevo, 1992, I sought out the "right" photo to bring all my thoughts together. Upon finding this one of a local cellist sitting in the rubble of the National Library, it all clicked. I hope you get as much out of is as I did preparing and writing this piece.

 

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 30 of 79     1 2 3  next >  (show all)

  • spideracer gold member
    right now
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    In just a few short words you have made a powerful statement, bringing to mind feelings of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. Picture you used here also adds greatly to this beautiful and emotionally moving poem. Imagery is awesome as is the flow of this piece, and I clicked on the other links you had with ''The Cellist of Sarajevo'', what a powerful story and don't know why I never heard of it before. Might even inspire me to write something in future days on the topic, such I've been moved by Vedran Smailovic bravery in a place of death and sadness. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more from you at a later date.


  • crivanea silver member
    September 19

    Edit | Reply
    quite a poem..the picture with it really do make the poem much starker...this convey much sadness and emotion despite the short stanzas...nicely done poet..you said much here


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 4

    Edit | Reply

    I just had to tell you, Poet. When I clicked on this amazingly poignant penning of yours, I was inspired to create my own. I also included links to an essay about the event, as well as links to the songs mentioned within the article. Sooo...Thank you. I hope your piece does well in crivanea's contest.

    "The Audacity of Hope"

    www.allpoetry.com/poem/5683403


  • cre8tiv-writer
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Eerily calm with a sad undertone. Great job!


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the simplicity, and shortness of this poem, very fitting for the topic, it reminds me of the short memory we have when it comes to human attrocity, and depicts the idea of someone who has seen dreadful things, and perhaps does not have the strength to find more words, I love the last verse about the cello, it remindsus that the power of music can sooth the soul, and tells us that even amid the ashes of war, people can rise up and survive, a powerful triumph over evil,A beautifully crafted piece thanks for the read god bless littlefishone


  • Swan song gold member
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent and the nightmare plays on but this poem accentuates the power of people through smahed and in tears they play on


  • Nicada silver member
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very touching and sad write. You did a great job finding a picture to match your words here. Thanks for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty


  • Peachy
    July 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A very beautiful poem.
    The last stanza was especially wonderful.
    Thank you for entering!


  • bananasfoster42
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is an interesting poem! i notice that there's not any trophies to upgrade on here though. maybe i'll make a HM upgrade for you


  • vici377
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your flow is wonderful..as is your imagery..and utter perfect take on the prompt..you made it personal...and brought it to life..war is so very devastating..thanx so much for sharing ...and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste..

    • Xianaria gold member
      June 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Vici~

      Thank you for your comments. For me, this has become more important than the contest it was intended for (didn't even get an HM). We have the power to use words in ways that impact, and the response I've gotten for this piece is incredible - much more than a trophy can give me. I'm thinking that when this has run it's course I am going to forward it to Savatage & they can post it if they feel (I was inspired greatly by their CD "Dead Winter Dead").



      Tim

  • OhNoChastity
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's sweet, and I like the plot of the poem and the story is well put. I do think it could do with some more description, maybe a bit longer. Otherwise, good job!

    • Xianaria gold member
      June 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      OhNoChastity~

      Hi, thank you for the comments. The original contest that I wrote this for had a 10 line limit. I may or may or may not return and add to it later.


  • Tercil gold member
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Showing much strength and eagerness to fulfill the future, so good luck in the comp.


  • Jalalbad gold member
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I bow my head in awe, at both the write and the picture. I am fond of the violin


  • crazymomma
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    4 got these


  • crazymomma
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You made every word count here. This is POWERFUL! I hope not personal though. The story was sooo sad


    • Xianaria gold member
      June 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Crazymomma~

      Thank you...I assure you, I was safe here in America at the time...


  • Re-invention silver member
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well nicely taken on the prompt... I enjoyed it!


    • Xianaria gold member
      June 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      XXVampireeyesXX

      Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


  • ferg silver member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    This is a strong and thought provoking write, and the picture so apropos. I remember hearing and reading about what went on there and feeling stunned that this could really happen.

    I loved the juxtaposition of beautiful music set against war torn ruins, which also shows the incredible strength and resiliance these people had to rise above all that chaos and human travesty.

    • Xianaria gold member
      June 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Ferg~

      "I loved the juxtaposition of beautiful music set against war torn ruins, which also shows the incredible strength and resilience these people had to rise above all that chaos and human travesty."

      ~ exactly, thank you. A true testament of how we can turn something bad into a time to come together. I've said before in an earlier comment that this reminds me of when the artists returned to New Orleans after being struck by Katrina.


  • aahos faos
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i liked the line "Once a joyous city, our cheers quieted by bombs" this poems feel was gloomy contrasted by how it once was which in my opinion makes it even more tragic


    • Xianaria gold member
      June 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Aahos Faos~

      Thank you for your comments. War is tragic, but even more so for the innocent people it effects.


  • simpliciti
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bittersweet

    Bittersweet is the first thoughtful word that comes to my mind after reading this. It's superbly done and just my smile cause I really appreciate "short" and "powerful" which is quite challenging! The photo presented is absolutely fantastically appropriate to accompany your very effective words and story. This is already a winner...congrats!

    • Xianaria gold member
      June 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Simpliciti~

      Thank you, I really appreciate your comments.

      It is a bittersweet write, I tried to portray a positive scene amidst war-torn chaos & it seems I've touched many people.

      Thank you for calling it a winner. If there's something I've learned on this site, it's more important how our words reach others than the awards that may come with them.


  • The Bear
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I wrote a poem about this once. Lots of poems actually. the Trans Siberian Orchestra Video is wonderful, yes. And the bravery of Vedran Smailovic and the inspiration live on always I think.

    • Xianaria gold member
      June 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Bear~

      Thank you. TSO/Savatage did a wonderful tribute, I agree. I get more inspired every time I get comments that let me know these words and the meaning behind them have touched people.

1 - 30 of 79     1 2 3  next >  (show all)