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shadowed

present tenses tangle ancient oak trees
while perdition haunts vivid dreams

& your eyes merely dim though never close
as I falter while presence cancels my own

Author notes



Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all the time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there
Watching me, wanting me

- Haunted by Evanescence

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Tattboyspet
    May 29, 2008

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    you have managed to get in the feel of the 'haunted' effect there as well ... you are seriously a brilliant writer Mark and when I understand your writing I feel blessed to have you on my favourites list (lol!)

    congrats on the silver


  • LeilaJayne
    May 28, 2008
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    Excellent take on the prompt. So deep! I love it! x


  • faderman1959
    May 28, 2008

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    Very deep for such a short poem! A real accomplishment! Serene yet passionate at the same time. Great write!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 28, 2008

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    Fab take on the lyric... it had a haunting feel to it, almost like a sadness and aching emptiness, that works excellently with the prompt! Love the third line best!


  • In Too Deep1
    May 28, 2008

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    A very well penned take on the prompt. Love the word usage and flow. Very deep with emotional movement. A most enjoyable read. best wishes in the comp


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    May 28, 2008
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    Excellent take on the prompt

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    May 28, 2008

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    This is a great poem Marky I like the first two lines the best goodluck in the contest best wishes and much love always


  • KayJay
    May 28, 2008
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    Hauntingly lovely...notes of resignation and sadness flow within your words... Nicely done.
    Ken


  • Hope Angel silver member
    May 28, 2008

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    This is spooky and yet stunning. Me gusto tu poema mucho. (I like your poem a lot)
    You are an amazing poet...
    the 1st line in the second stanza gave me the chills lol

1 - 9 of 9