Do you see those eyes?
Can you see past the swirls
Surrounding the blackness?
Can you see the swirls of green grass
That reach out and fade into the sky?
Do you believe?
Can you believe in what your eyes see?
Do you see those eyes?
Can you see the love?
The pain?
The dreams?
Can you see the moments?
The moments that become memories?
Do you believe in the connection
Between the eyes and the heart?
These eyes have seen heartbreak
This heart has felt rejection
These eyes have seen loss
This heart has felt empty
These eyes have seen happiness
This heart has felt hope
These eyes have seen love
This heart has felt a connection
These eyes have shed tears
This heart has bled an ocean
Do you see those eyes?
The breaking soul within
The fading of hope from the core
I see those eyes
I wish everyday to reach out
To help
But still here I am
Oh so far away
But close enough to hug
Our eyes meet
And our hearts beat in time
I see those eyes
Do you see mine?
Author notes
^-^
I completely laughed at the ages because if this contest was a week later I'd be in the adult category! I don't want to grow up(but I do want to drive!)!
A contest entry
- 1 Week left to write your best write ever! by Folklor.
1050 points, ended June 23, 2008, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - KIDS VS. ADULTS by longlife by longlife.
425 points, ended June 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POINTS- Easy Entries by NickelleteXninja.
600 points, ended July 8, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
intersting write
i reall liked it thanks for entering -
This poems is AWESOME
lol i love what you put in your author notes
I dont wanna grow up but i do want to drive,i think thats the same for everyone. lol.
These eyes have seen love
This heart has felt a connection
These eyes have shed tears
This heart has bled an ocean
those were my faviorte lines.Great job
-longlife -
this is awesome, congrats on bonze and take care
stephanie
-
F****** AWsome! what an ending! i loved this! this is one of my favorites. becasue of the ending the couplets where you made a connection with the eyes and the hear and wow i see yous do you see mine! thats so vivid! wow. recovering from your poem, loved every word, i felt emotion awsome!
-
These eyes see
that you wrote your poem in the shape of a body, leaving space for (those) eyes. Very clever of you, my dear. wonderful write, I liked how you used eyes and heart to make the impression they were one in spirit, if you will. Great job. I noticed that you repeated SEE quite a bit, isn't that what the eye does? Yes, However, perhaps you could find a few words to use as substitutes? also, I noticed a word spelled wrong, Soul ? favorite lines: that reach out and fade into the sky; the moments that become memories; our hearts beat in time; the fading of hope from the core.
Is it possible at this late date for you to incorporate the beauty of eyes ? This was a good write! Good luck in the contest. -
the beauty of eyes for you 47
pools of the sou WINdows, souls reflection within them.
i want all that imagery and more.
lots of coours, swirls and dna, emotions and thoughts running wild with this one.
written prompt
'seeing is believing!'
picture prompts
http://inexorablyloved.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/sunny-eyes-012b.jpg
http://staff.washington.edu/xtoph/anth469metro/metrop_images/metrop-crowd-a-eyes-1314.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/114/312435398_231ccb6b65.jpg
http://www.wonderquest.com/2007-03-19-gold-green.jpg
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=s&tid=1062522
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
