I'm sixty five and still kicking.
Been through depression times and happy times.
Watching my kids play in the sand box,
Having cookouts with my parents,
Where did it all go?
And why do we grow old?
I relive these memories everyday,
As I sit in my rocking chair,
Wondering when my time will be up.
Those were the days.
- The Happy Group group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Not A Quickie - Prompted Inspiration # 1 by B Chandler.
700 points, ended May 31, 6 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want honest opinions on this.
Comments
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This is a cool poem. It flows easily. Heh heh. It reminds me of a river. Anyway! Back to the poem! Lol.
I know the memories that you were listing, like having cookouts with my family. I don't have kids(I'm only 12!), but I remember playing in the sandbox myself!
~Pandy
(P.S. It's my birthday!)
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Commentary
I liked how the prompt was taken when talking about life, but I did spot a few grammatical boo-boos that might show a bit of concern for the next reader who might think one of the lines seems a bit out of place.
The comma at the end of line three really threw me off for the fourth line...I don't know but yeah -
love this take on the prompt...time does have a way of running by...
best to you in the contest~ blessings always~
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