The iron horse comes home to the stable.
As the blue clad conductor shepards the passengers off and on,
there are lurkers,waiting, with bed role and backpack.
The steam on the tracks wafts off in still morning air,
the call of the whistle grabs the ear of the passer by,
the clank of the brakes, sends a shutter reverberating down the cars.
Now or never. The door is ajar on the car by the trestle.
A leap and the journey is begun, door pulled shut, quickly,
no one saw, safe for now, as the wheels begin to turn.
Off into the wheat fields, under a blue sky. Paying passengers
and those who slipped in for a trip to who knows where.
The cu-chunk, cu-chunk of the passing train, over loose rails,
and the iron horse is on it's way.
A contest entry
- Great PICTURE PROMPT!! Quickie! by sailor ptolema.
451 points, ended June 1, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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bravo!
Your piece is full of visual imagery....I could see this clearly in my mind with all the sights, sounds, and smells of a train station
one nagging thing though..it should be "shepherds"
Otherwise I like the way you went with this prompt... I love that people sneak onto the train
It put a smile on my face!
and I love your use of onomatopoeia with "cu-chunk"....very clever, and witty.
I like the way you wrote the 3rd stanza...it ready in quick breaths..just like someone who snuck on and is really nervous he'll be found out
well done. thanks for entering, and g'luck! -
Wonderfuly imagery... the hobo express with adventures yet to be... Well done.
Ken
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Such definate imagery and vision here. I felt the soul of this write in the cu-chunk of this passing train! WONDERFUL!!!
Az
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Ha. I just entered this contest too.
Great inspiring poem with amazing imagery. Best of luck with it.
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