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Seduced

I think about you day and night.
Your taste lingers in my mouth for hours after we are together.
I close my eyes, and imagine when we will be together again.
You seduce me with no effort.
I need to give you up, But I can't, I'm addicted to you!
My lips caress your silky, smooth texture.
You're so soft and creamy that I almost lose my mind.

... Darn you bubble gum Ice Cream ...

Author notes

This is what i would have to say my best poem is..
untouched pages

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 45 of 45

  • Amera gold member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    As appointed judge for this contest I was about to remove this poem thinking it broke the erotica rule. What a surprise, this is hilarious!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • ciara12
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    hehehehe hahahaha this is so funny i expected it to be about a guy and then i read the last sentence and started dying!! hahaha great write sis!!

    ciara
    your little sister


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    ehehe, really, i was thinking what you have supposed ..
    but UFFFFfffffffzzzzzzz

    it was just a bubble gum,
    really shocked

    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • Lady Michaella
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    hahahahah!! i LOVE this!!!! this is fantastic!! wow.. its so funny!

    you think this is a lover or someone.. then it turns out to be ICECREAM!! thats helerious.

    thanks for entering! and best of luck in the contest!!

    Your Co-Judge,
    -Lemon Bee-
    xx


  • Walls-within
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    lol. the title really caught me off guard with the whole poem. It put a huge smile on my face, I really did enjoy this. Great write.


  • iamthebeatles
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    I think this poem is really great. With a poem titled seduced this was not at all what I expected, kudos for the surprise twist! It was definitely about physical love but it still is a cute poem, quite hard to explain. Bravo! Great write.

    cassie


  • lyricist
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    catchy poem. play on the mind of others and get caught thinking that one-way, when your going another direction. love it


  • trekkergirl
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    I dunno if it is your best but it certainly was a very nice one to read. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • phoenixonfire
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    Bubble Gum sure does that to me..not sure of ice cream ! That is a really cute poem!! It started off differently and ended of with wit! I like the churp here! Made me smile! Cute!!

    ~pri


  • heavenbird
    January 29
    Edit | Reply
    Hahahah this is really funny.
    You tricked me, for sure.


    I liked this lots. =]


    • untouched pages
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for takin the time to read it!!

      • heavenbird
        January 29

        Edit | Reply
        Of course! I'll read more of yours later, but I'm trying to do my homework right now and this is distracting me. xP

        I'll be back laterr.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha, very well written, nothing else to say really but you pulled this off very well xD
    Great write.
    Laura


  • sidaul
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    props. you shook the box and twisted the
    pre-supposed expectations of the masses.
    i like it.


    • untouched pages
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      what i like is how you worded your comment.. thank you for taking a peek at it. I'm glad you liked it!


  • DecorusApparatus
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    I laughed my pants off haha
    Very very cleverly written and I like the form too.
    Keep up the excelletn writing!!

    • untouched pages
      January 29

      Edit | Reply
      hehe i think its cute when someone says laughed my butt off or pants off .. I just think its so cute. Cuz i dont know if it could really happen... lol thank you so much for taking time to read this write!!! and i'm glad you enjoyed it!!

      ~*Cristy*~


  • eating vertigo
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha! That's a hilarious ending. Very wonderful, keep it up fellow poet!

    I was tottaly thinking dirty. x3


    • untouched pages
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      dirty thinking x 3 or was that ment to be a heart?? lol thank you for takin the time to read it!!


  • Heroesrox
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    Nifty piece. I liked it very much! Thanks for sharing it!

    • untouched pages
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      lol i love the word nifty.... it reminds of of the fiftys... dont ask me why but thank you for reading my write!!

  • Haha this is great! As everyone else said loved the ending!

    Great write

    X


  • dove94
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    haha
    this is really good.
    i love how the end just catches you by surprise...
    i was almost certain that i knew exactly what you were writing about and then...
    bam.
    haha.
    bubble gum ice cream is the best.
    but i think my favorite is cookie dough. :]
    good job.


  • Rhythm Child
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    or...................coffee flavour !!


  • couldbeworse
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    well that was unexpected! thats what I liked about it...very good ending! i was thinking...wow...a lover maybe? but then...darn ice cream gets em every time.


  • DemonicChanel420
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow, that's so funny! I love the twist in there, that's great!


  • Rhythm Child
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    bubble gum
    what about mint choc chip ?
    now thts a ice cream

    • untouched pages
      January 26
      Edit | Reply
      Well im alergic to chocolate and Some kinds of mint.. so for me that is like a death trap!! lol But i know what you mean!!


  • RedAquarius
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    Ha, love the twist - made me laugh out loud. Wonderfully fun.


  • Lanasaur
    January 13

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i can feel the emotion running inthis poem well done i love it i like this line(I close my eyes, and imagine when we will be together again)well done


    • untouched pages
      January 13
      Edit | Reply
      lol thankyou!! I love when people can find some emotion in my writes.. Thats all i write from is emotion.


  • faderman1959
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Cute! You really had me going there! Great sense of humor and a really fun poem!

  • imoutyo
    June 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    (grins)


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I got excited until the end..then I was really excited...I love bubble gum ice cream. I love these little double entendres you write...very witty...peace Terry


  • Mistress Masquerade
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very yummy! And I have to agree, bubble gum ice cream, yum yum yum. haha, the twist at the end is so genius, a very pleasureable read. Listen to Justin though, it will make more sense then. Keep it up!


  • Justin
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha that was very funny. After I read the end, and I knew what it was, I just had to go back and read the whole poem again. So yeah, kudos to you for making me do that!

    I've got some minor suggestions, though, to make this already great poem even better:

    The line "Your so soft and creamy that I almost loose my mind" has some problems... You used the word "your," but perhaps you meant "you're" aka "YOU ARE." Also, you used the word "loose." "Loose" implies "not tight." Perhaps you meant to use the word "lose." :-)

    Once again, this was a great piece.... The last line was perfect!

    Great write!

  • Emozin
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Haha, great!

    It's so cute and fun xD I don't think anything should be changed at all, it's amazing. I'm in study hall at school right now, and I burst out laughing, and now I'm probably gonna get in trouble for being so loud xD It's great, and amusing, and fun and sweet and tons of things. xD <3

  • Raven Rose
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    haha......

    that was well written.... i totalyy thought it was dirty.. but i am soooo dirty minded lol..... it was great lol.....


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is so funny ... soooo well done ... you actually had me hot that gooey sticky pink fragrantly luscious indescribably dreamy ... bubble gum Ice Cream ... dammit ... that stuff got me a long time ago and i gave up everything just to be near the door of the ice cream joint that serves it still and so am poverty stricken, refuse to work .... ... i mean, who can abide someone taking the final scoop

    yer wonderful


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