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Measured Metaphor

The house was built with the mortar of verse,
stories were raised on foundations of rhyme,
on strength of structure we'd fondly converse,
we'd hammer the nails to meter in time.

Timbers were rotten beneath a façade,
our blueprints discarded favoring hers.
'Twas said she was perfect, a pure demigod;
the nature of true intention occurs.

I put my whole heart into building this place,
my efforts were lost as all comes undone.
Dark were the words that caused my disgrace,
hiding my tears of humiliation.

I've lost house and home, betrayed by a friend,
the metaphor's rubble, this sonnet's at end.

 

 

 

Author notes

English Sonnet 

Prompt: Use all:
- pure untainted love
- tarnished (tainted)love
- discovery
- pain/suffering/sorrow
- a very emotional experience

I found out what a poet who I thought was a friend really thought about me.

Author: Amera

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Desire gold member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    Oh My this one tugs at the Heartstrings
    I think I can honestly say I could relate and after the initial riverdancing on my Heart-Spirit-
    Divinity crazy glued me back together
    Imperfect before- still imperfect
    but I'll admit it~
    Beauty of a piece as always
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~

  • sounds sad.

    Love you!
  • sounds sad.

    Love you!


  • Ithica silver member
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    There is alway going to be someone who has a different opinion of your work for whatever reason... But to me it is a safe bet that they are a minority, different strokes for different folks... There are so many who love and respect your gift, I woundn't worry about the few that don't... cia PS... You even channel anger into wonderful poetry!!! See how amazing you are???


  • NeonRose silver member
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch! This was sorrowful before I read the AN..I hope you buried that poet under the house! Some good comes from it, however..this splendid poem!


  • Hetha gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry this happened to you
    I mirror what others have said, I think you're brilliant, creative and full of talent. Fresh and inspiring, and your writes, at least to me, offer much to learn from.


  • Faeryn
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, don't know what to say. It's deep and I'm sorry this had to happen. But, Amera, remember there are more people who love you here and think that your poetry is awesome than the few who don't like your work. You always amaze me with your poetry and I share it with lots of my friends. They say your sonnets are the best thye've ever read. I love you.
    and love,
    Tay

  • Dear friend

    A simple promt, but must be good. Sorry this is NOT good. You don't write just good, I do. You write superbly. This is absolutely it.

  • Brilliant

    Wonderful sonnet that you have penned to perfection.
    You always amaze me. I'm in awe of both your imagination and your poetic tallents.*sigh*
    I forsee another shiny trophy here.
    Bravo!

    Take care
    Much love
    David

  • Sis,

    You never cease to amaze me! I am not sure what this is in reference to, but wow!! What a great job you did here!

    Best of luck in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta

  • And again your pen shines so bright
    Like a brilliant beacon in the night!

    Honestly, if any new poets ever ask me about good rhyming poetry, I'll steer them towards you hon.

    All the best in the contest Amera.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.

  • Arzab
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Amera, though the ending of this piece was very sad. It's terrible when we realize the people who we think are our friends might not like us as much. Sometimes I fear that a lot of my high school friends might not like me, like sometimes I'm never sure if they like me as a person or not, because I'll try talking to them and they don't reply. It leaves me wondering what I've said wrong.
    I always like your sonnet form poems. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.

  • From the poet who will be the best alive in the near future a superbly constructed sonnet. Great writing.

  • Very, very strong... very, very confident. Full of controlled emotion. For once I am not even going to try counting meter - the poem stands on its own merits. Well done.

  • I spent a good deal of time reading this over and over... you have packed a lot into this small package. I am extremely impressed. You have poetry and construction as metaphores on different levels of conceptuality. Fascinating. I looked at the judges prompt and this followed it very well. How you made a sonnet do that is unbelievable. I don't know how it could be done much better.

  • wow sis your just simply amazinggg i love this a lot and alot they way you describe and the couplet just rocksss
    good lucks in da contest sis
    iam totally fond of ur art

1 - 19 of 19