Do you sense the darkened hell
that plagues with boredom every night?
You search for heavens all around
yet do not see a fresher light.
Life has formed a solemn plan
where youth and thrill have sadly died.
The door will always take you to
the place that's on the other side.
Legs of life leave aching pains,
while posture has you sounding beat.
The next time you decide to stand,
try walking with some different feet.
Time that ticked with droning bore
has left the day to be a snooze.
So shift the speed, Reset the clock;
This change has more to win than lose.
Nothing new awaits the same
so joust into a different thought;
'Cause you cannot know what you are,
until you've seen what you are not.
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This poem really gives the reader a lot to think about... yet it doesn't pound one over the head with ideas. I really enjoy your style of writing... I appreciated the natural sounding rhyme too
Good Job! Me Likey
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i love the first stanza. the rhythm in this is amazing. no where is it akward. good write and good luck!
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Nice work. Thanks, for sharing.
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'Cause you cannot know what you are,
until you've seen what you are not.
What if who I'm not is part of who I have potential to be? I couldn't help but read this poem more than once, it has a deeper meaning at second glance. My mind sets a rhythm that seems perfect for the pentameter and flow of the rhyme. Great job!! <3Dany
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i like that... a lot
i acn relate -
The problem about having to challenge yourself with 2 options is that, a poem usually gets lost. Sometimes a poem ends up to be a recycle bin. Yours is an exemption.
You managed to challenge yourself without jeopardizing the meaning of the poem. I love the write, I also live the yellow-black color combination(I think it's COOL).
Good luck in the contest!
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"'Cause you cannot know what you are,
until you've seen what you are not."
Gripping lines that hold my attention fast, an excellent read
Best of luck
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Oh wow, I like the impact that I had receive from this piece; it gave this 'Do something worthy in your life NOW' or something relevant to that ^^'
Anyway, yes, great write since it's one of those "booster" writes (I don't know what to call those kind of writes, sadly) that I find powerful
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Wow man, what an awesome piece. I can't even pick out my favorite stanza. Definitely read it like 3 times it was so goo. GL in the contest
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YEAHHHHHH
very well done
i loved it but i already told you that
i like the lines that said
"'Cause you cannot know what you are,
until you've seen what you are not."
beautifully done
thank you for sharing
keep up the great work
good luck in the cotest your in
Kitty
p.s Im bored -
Last two lines really pop out at you, very beautifully written.
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I enjoyed this poem. The last two lines are the most profound. Describing life, how it is, and how it has always been. You are who you are. This is a great poem. Good Luck in the contest
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Wow. Simply amazing. The last line rings true, and does a great job of tying the whole thing together. Great take on the title, and good luck in the contest
-Les<3 -
ahh
nice for a word prompt. very great theme, flow, and overall composition. magnificent job over all. i like this a lot. great job. ^.^ -
Yeah, what a great ending. But the whole piece is very profound. It's hard to say which stanza was my favorite. Best of luck in the contest!
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very nice write. penned wonderfully with a nice rhyme. i liked this alot. good job. esp.the last two lines.
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i enjoyed the almost controversial attitude of the piece....line 5-8 are my favorite, simply becuase i realised that we always expect somehting different to be on the other side of a door, but maybe soemwhere there is only the same place you left. (i suppose that is what you meant at least)
i really liked it, good luck, i hope you win : ) -
Very interesting.
I like poems that are deep and make you think about what it is you are reading. And you did just that so once again it is nice to read something this interesting.
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