My secret garden of Eden,
A favorite place in my mind;
Somewhere I always retreat to,
But no longer can I find.
Life to me seemed perfect,
Not a single thing I'd change;
I thought that I was happy,
Now that place seems almost strange.
My companion in my dreams,
Who I thought could be my wife;
What no longer makes me whole,
Is missing you in my life.
And even in the world,
That I have to face each day;
I find that I'm not happy,
Just wishing the time away.
Life’s no longer beautiful,
Like all that’s good has died;
My worlds no longer happy,
Without you here by my side.
The sweetest foods are tasteless,
The funniest jokes fall flat;
The sunrise now is darkened,
And my peace is like combat.
The music has no tune and,
The poems have no rhyme;
Flowers have no smell,
Clocks fail to show the time.
Because what I've failed to see,
Is that I always needed you;
Without you in my life,
I struggle to get through.
But one thing that I know,
With us now split apart;
My garden of edens gone,
And along with it my heart.
Author notes
Once again with another failed relationship I seem to have lost my will to write. I went a month between poems and when I did finally write something I let all of that emotion out in one piece. This poem was written on May 20th 2008.
In a list
A contest entry
- Love that is lost by Mommas Fallen Angel.
550 points, ended July 7, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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very good job
Jaq you did an excellent job on this piece... i felt your pain *hugs* -
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I'm glad you can feel it too.
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This is amazing. I love it. It is so sad and full of emotion. Something I can definitely relate to. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Megan -
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. And its ashame that people do relate to this. These feeling are the oposite of what love is.
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damn
Forget those smiley-face applauses;
you've earned a standing ovation.
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LOL thanks but its really not that good. If you like this one go to my list and read some of the others in the lost love list.
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Ooh!! this really broke my heart.. Number one: your relationship ended and from the looks of things it broke your heart.. And such a tender and wonderful heart it is! I am so sorry that you have to go through the pain again of a seemingly great relationship gone bad... I wish someone would really cherish that wonderful heart you have, and that courageous spirit as well..
Number two: it was written on my birthday!
I', sorry that you felt so down on my b-day.. 
You did a wonderful job in expressing yourself hun.. Thank you for sharing this with us...
Angel
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You share birthdays with a close friend of mine. And Dont worry this poem was written on your birthday but it happened long before. The good side of the break up came about on your birthday. That being this poem.
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This I feel is one of your best. I like this and I feel that this is really touching. Great write and keep up the good work. Keep it up.
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Thanks. I know it could be better I just havnt figure out how to do it yet. I guess i recognize the mistakes I jsut dont have the talent to correct them.
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Sad
You done a good job of expressing the feelings of sadness and heartbreak that you were going through at this time in your life, the metaphors were very effective in delivering the message to the readers. Hope things are looking up for you
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Thanks and not really although i have to say I havnt been pursueing any type of relationship.
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A sad write from you.This Garden of Eden is not a lost garden I am sure, Ros
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The specific garden I have to feel is but i have to feel my own piece of paradise is out there somewhere.
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i agree with tash
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hehe rae
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Get a room you two
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LOL I know you dont really like rhyme.
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hmmm remember that you need to create your own happiness before you can be happy with another, beside you know I have said before you deserve better, wonderful things.
Great job at expressing yourself, I will confess that I am not a huge fan of rhyme but you seem to do well with it, i would like some day to see you branch out and try something different
even if it just entails keeping the rhyme but removing some of the extraneous the's & and's to give it a tiny twist on the flow.
Example
The music has no tune and,
The poems have no rhyme;
Flowers have no smell,
Clocks fail to show the time.
becomes:
Music has no tune,
poems have no rhyme;
Flowers have no smell,
Clocks fail to show the time.
Well done my friend. keep it up...
Tasha
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You have read some of my freeverse have you not?
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not that i recall, everything u send me is rhyme
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Check your messages
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This is not the first time I have read this, it's a good poem expressing your true feelings.
Well done... all the best...Sue
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Thanks Ms Sue your encouragement means alot.
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And a very strong piece this was, love
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Thank you. And Unfortunatly this one was way to easy to write.
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