64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1460&ArtistID=9993
Jesus rides the comet
When Hitler doesn't drive
The Pope named the comet,
So the Vatican would survive
But I ride the comet
To a Venus lullaby
While Satan wrestles Saturn
And Neptune takes a dive
Come on dive, dive deep down
with me
-Refrain (1)
Time plays Doctor with its vague libido
Atlas shrugs, I guess he's got the clap again
Hear Poe's raven rapping at your window?
Kiss the tail, it's frozen, like your EGO
So what is with the comet?
And how come it's so cool?
Does it give you added courage?
Like the tarot's smiling fool
You should have rode it with me
It's too bad you were scared
Now you're forced to envy
Because you never dared
-Refrain (1)
Frankenstein is teaching in the valley
Count Dracula sold out to the Japanese
The wolfman has a degree in accounting
Just let me on the comet, pretty please
listen up
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1460&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1460&ArtistID=9993
Written December 25th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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I would not attempt to critique this. I like the inclusion of the question, "So what is with this comet? and the part that follows. I salute you for experimenting.
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Unique
Woweee what an incredibly unique and different poem, but refreshing never-the-less. Its got really great rythyme, and great flow and has humour too. -
Excellent Writing
A critical review invited
I'll be delighted
This song ignited
A response it incited
horus8, I rate
This for the sake
Of what is at stake
1 to 10, at an 8
A damn good song
Don't get me wrong
It is quite strong
But don't belong
In countrycousin's church
Just Michael would besmirch
Put in the lurch
Christians from his proud perch
I don't agree
But I can see
As poetry
It's good as can be
--Ellis -
Creative, for me it a new style.
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Catchy piece with nice rhytem an flow. Liked the fun aspect to it, would love to hear it to music. Great work. Keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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Good
This is hilarious.I like it,reminds me of the wackos who thought a ufo was in the tail of comet Hale-Bopp. -
fantastic
wow i like it and the words/lyrics works for me....love the imagery and the references. cant go past the first few lines set it up and yeah went from there....brilliant.... -
Never tried writing lyrics, but looks as if you know what you are doing here - good repetition, good rhyme, good music.
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I suggest you rip it up and start again if it isn't good enough to be sung in countrycousins church.
I liked it though so I'm gonna give you a hallelujah and an amen to that. -
been able to download a lot of old recordings here and i was thinking that the music sounded a lot like those of led zepellin and the doors although the lyrics were more bizarre...
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Very interesting...
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good, but wtf with the picture, but i liked it too.
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Bizarre! I hope these lyrics aren't meant as anything other than entertainment, 'cause if there's a deeper meaning here I'm afriad I don't get it. This is fun though!
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Hey not bad. Actually I like. I'm real big on lyrics so this was going to kick some ass irregardless of what it was even about. I am gonna start reading some other things you have done now that I have read this. Peace out man.
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Wonderful Write
I like this alot you did a wonderful job on this write. I so hope to read more from you,and thank you for sharing this with my family and I. Keep up the awesome writes you do. -
man I just listened to the featured song and I got to tell you..I wouldn't have survived the 70's with trippy shit like that..fuckin wicked
but I lost the link to the poem to comment . I gotta leave one on this. Your vocals were so different than the written lyrics...you took this to the moon and back
I wanted to copy my IM to you...man I'll be honest, anyone that merely reads this and don't listen is missin' out...you got it goin' on fo' sho'
Peace Muddy
ps I'll send some points your way for the double click -
Good Job
Wow this is preetty cool. I don't know much about David Bowie but this was definately very awesome. I like it! -
Yeah, why can't you hear them?
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i would love to hear the music with this one! some of the most unique song lyrics i have ever read! i don't know about Bowie, but this one rocks!!!
Jo -
Why would it be sung in church?
That's not even funny.
Or, yes... actually it IS!!!!!!! -
Interesting.
Well as a song it sounds like Bowie but still not quite sure what to make of this. Probably won't be sung in my church. Still interesting. -
did you hear the song?
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I love this poem, being a big Bowie fan myself.
I have heard about you before, and this was the first piece of yours I have had the pleasure to read.
This is an amazing poem. It has everything: Hitler, Satan(some would argue that these two are one and the same), God, Jesus, The Pope, Edgar Allen Poe, and the classic horror movie monsters!
I encourage you to read some of my poems, please, and tell me honestly what you think of them.
Much Respect,
Wampyr. -
You know, I could totally hear this on the radio!
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grand
this is one of the more uniqe songs ive read in a while, i like the way you put them together also... -
I like this poem. What is the meaning? It is surrealist and odd. Huh... Somehow, though, I doubt that Hitler and Christ ride together...
Great job,
Sincerely,
Chadrick -
I'm greatly amused by this somehow. Does that make me a sick, sick person? I thouroughly enjoyed the way the lyrics flow together. I think it's a well written piece. I have no real prblems with any of it.
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These are amongst the most interesting of your lyrics that I have read, Horus. There is a pyschadelic edge to the words, though they are also firmly rooted in your societal feelings. You even got our mutual interest in science in there (" To a Venus lullaby / While Satan wrestles Saturn / And Neptune takes a dive"). I must say it always drives me nuts when I stumble on one of your lyrics while at work rather than at home, because I can't access the audio file with our fire wall. I will return though to listen. The lyrics are excellent, so no doubt that so too is the song recording.
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Oh WOW! This is spectacular! Really enjoyed the lyrics, very well written and quite alot of wonderful lines...though my fav would have to be..."Time plays Doctor with its vague libido/Atlas shrugs, I guess he's got the clap again"... WONDERFUL!
Bestest wishes & other mushy, gushy stuff
~Meli~
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i have to say,you get more weird comments than any poet here...one of them...'please turn this back into a regular poem' ...i can not imagine you haivng anything 'regular' and that is a given as a compliment. very nice song, thank you for the link. careful where you cast these pearls.
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A very catchy sort of feast of lyrics in this one. To say the least, the imagery might catch a few off guard, but originality is to be expected when reading most of your work.
Definitely has a certain kind of appeal to it. -
Damn that's awesome.
Oh my goodness! You wrote this?! This is the sort of thing that I always, always, always admire from a far, and I never dreamed I would actually read one right after its creation. The sort of thing that is so wonderful that you can't believe it was written, like the name of the person could never match or have any association with the wondrousness of the work. All of the references, all of the excrutiatingly clever and beautiful references! I especially liked "Hear Poe's raven rapping at your window?" I just, wow, please excuse my babbling and think not that I'm a bumbling fool! I'd promote it, but it's already promoted and I've not got many points. -
clap
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wow this is different. i liked it. i found this very interesting and i really enjoyed reading it. great job. good luck in the contest.
~marcia -
good
Rhyme scheme was fair and the word choice excellent, I'm taking it that this is a song, and perhaps one day, when I hear it on the radio, I'll look over to my dog and say, hey! I commented on that! -
Your writing always either makes me frown, laugh, or scratch my head in wonder. no matter my reaction, I love your work. Thank you so much for sharing, keep writing and sharing
-Jes -
hmmm this is good though i like ur song its good how u put the link up there!
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did you listen to the song by clicking the link?
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This is some great stuff you have here, really! I must go read some more! Check out the rest of all you have to offer from your page, really great lyrics, I am looking forward to more!
~Tina -
Don't be curious, because, I'm not.
The guff are everywhere, hula-hooping
in a ring of stupidity like drugged lemmings. -
What I am curious about is some of the comments I've read about this. Obviously they did not click the link to listen. I don't know, it didn't sound like rap to me, even before I listened to the song. The song was cool, by the way. I like that it's different and not the same mindless crap that gets played (overplayed, if you ask me) on the radio. Great job on this by the way. But then all your stuff is awesome.
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AMAZING
Wow this would make an awesome song. I really enjoy reading your poems/lyrics what ever you'd like to call them...The words you used in the context that you used them in just amazed me and made me rethink alot of my poetry. You have an AWESOME imagination. More power to you! God has blessed you with a talent many people can only dream of! God Bless you!
Jackilyn -
I liked all of this poem but I especially like the last verse. The mummy is selling insurance now by the way. I do wonder how you thought of this. Was it inspired by a dream maybe? God bless, Mary
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Very creative and great imagery twined with familiar allusions...nice read. Good luck!
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It's about as far from rap as Uranus from your anus.
the links at the bottom if you don't believe me. -
This was a nice, intersting piece with a lot of good imagery. Good luck in the contest!
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ps i dont know if you have, just dont forget about rules 5 and 6
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i agree with trentisgod........interesting write you have here........maybe i should listen to it to get my mind off that its a rap song......well......good write and best of luck in the contest to you
charlie -
interesting write. this is an ok song...but it seems like it would be intended for a rap song...thats the only part that i am not too fond of, but its still a good write. thanks for entering and good luck.
Emily -
I just listened to the song, it was really good. I expected it to be a little louder and not as well recorded. To say the least I was impressed.
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This was really funny. I liked it, that's really about all I can say. I can never really explain why I find something humorous.
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Impressive.
What bothers me though is your too cool to be a rap star and the lyrics are to cool to be rap. Loved the sideswiping, gnarling undertones in here i will be reading more of these gangbox lyrics and if i forget J you need to remind me we've ignored each other too long.
How the hell can the likes of Britney get away with it? oh yeah yeah i remember - uniform and popsocks and chupa chups. -
wow, this is sure one interesting writing. I am curious now as to what type of music you sing and play? I don't have a clue. Please leave me a note, and later I will come by and listen.
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well...remember I told you that I saw a trophy in this one for you ...am I psychic or waht ...conratulations...freda
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Tee-heeing at Horus8's comment....i am in my second half of thirties , consider myself fairly intelligent ...but really not in the mood to listen to the song , so I guess i will be among the ones " not in the know
"
Reenie
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well horus you have dsone it again ...I see a trophy in this for you...freda
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Well what did you want to get? A Jesus enima with a dollop of herbal enlightenment. It's a song, you have to listen to it to get it, obviously, and you have to be relatively intelligent and around thirty and into pop culture.
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ok i listened to that song, and it freaked the pants off me lol. Cool beat though
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I don't get it, but very Jim Morrisson-like. You had to have guessed a poem with the name Jesus in it would attract a lot of attention.
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I think if you listen to the song you'll get it.
basically it's a very intelligent satire/parody on American
popculture in general, and name dropping, with
a dash of Halebop, if you're not extraordinarilly
up on current events and aware and gifted at understanding the history
of American pop culture and where and what it stems from
and where it's going? You'd never get it in a million
years. In other words it's tongue in cheek cornucopia of
bullshit and propaganda, good luck. -
i dont get it either,but good job! it had really good rhythm and a great rhyme scheme!
God bless -Saab
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OK, I don't get it. But that's okay you did a good job anyway, it's good writing. It might be that you didn't want me to understand. Whatever you wanted or didn't want it doesn't matter 'cause it's bastante bien.
Catherine -
Great poem!
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Sure you can cover it, if you dare, you might want to hear it first.
gangbox.com/mp3/Jesus%20Rides%20The%20Comet.mp3
And you might need the chords, don't you think? -
cool
i like this a lot...... a lot..... a lot..... im starting a band and i would for sure do this song if it wouldnt get me sued, ahh too bad, but very, very, good im captivated read some of mind when you are bored -
interesting entry
I agree with Brian great Job..Great rhymes indeed
Good luck in my contest
Sorry for the delay in judging
Lori~ -
I really like this poem and style. I love your references to the literary greats of old and even the hypocrisy of Hitler and the Catholic church. My only problem with this poem is that it doesn't fit the criteria for this contest. I'm going to applaud you, because I like it that much, but please turn this back into a regular poem and write me one about your own experience of being changed by Jesus.
Absinthe -
I read this after listening to it ... I think the experience was much better after having heard the words ... I dig the style ... very interesting style, unique (which makes me like it all that much more) - listening to the music brought back kind of brought back some memories of the "old" days lol great work man ~ peace, brian
p.s. thanks for your suggestions ... I liked them both ... I like the Garage Remix of Another Funeral Hymn the best
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Does riding on a comet burn your ass?
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Your writing style is defiantely different. Nice write.
TD
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hah oh dear, i loved this, it was quite original, i dont know why im posting this like an effing weirdo, weird mood right now, but your songpoemwhatnot = very cool indeed
-dana -
Good
I really liked how you used original things, very original.. not to mention good. =D -
awsome write once again
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The link above should work now too. it was missing a /
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links not working for me. Any who, it seems like a trippy kinda song
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http://www.gangbox.com/mp3/Jesus%20Rides
%20The%20Comet.mp3
Edited on Dec 25, 9:41 p.m. because ''. -
Er, strange. What sort of music goes with it? Its an interesting song. ANd it makes me wonder, what is the comet? Good stuff too by the way.













































16 old applause
