The night was closing quickly,
seemed time had quit his job
Hands that moved so meekly
were now prepared to rob
For us the moment lingered
an encore was in line
Our hearts were prancing proudly
our lips were keeping time
The morning was upon us
‘Twas time to say goodnight
United in our purpose
but parted in the light
To say goodbye, such sorrow
why does it have to end?
But promises tomorrow
that night will come again
Author notes
Inspired by http://allpoetry.com/poem/4270407 by cricketjeff
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 3 New - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended June 15, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is so beautiful, wonderful flow of words. Your detail is very welcoming, Our hearts are prancing very nice. It was a pleasure to read.
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Well I know Jeff will love this because 1. it rhymes and 2. it's not me making him throw his hands in the air because I know nothing about meter and rhythm lol. Great job and good luck. Love, C
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Thank you for this entry in our contest. Jeff felt honored that you should his poem for inspiration, but this did in no way influence either judge.
Congratulations on the HM and we look forward to more work from you in our future contests...Sue and Jeff
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I can see how you have been inspired. Ah the promise of tomorrow...filled with yearning, hope and romance. It seems the ink glided on the paper here. Good luck in the contest
Michelle
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Beautiful ...
This dear Leo? is a wonderful poem that stirred some old emotions of mine that I once felt for a musician ... so therefore what worked for you - worked for me as well. How pleasant the lasting sensation! Thanks for sharing the feeling. joy
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It is easy to see how you were inspired by jeff's poem. What a wonder it is to read and enjoy, as is yours. I love the fact that there are so many on this site that inspire us to write.
Your usual Brilliance here dear heart!
The best to you in the challenge.
All My LOVE ♥
Renee
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A good rhythmic poem Leo, ticks away quite nicely! Funny though how quickly time moves in the good times. Great write! sj
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I really enjoyed this piece.
Though rather short, it seems to be about how we embrace the day, although spending most of it working, there is rest in the night that so many of us do not appreciate.
And at the same time, they both always come to use so fast without realization.
Beautiful write.
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Well, the ryhming didn`t seem at all forced and it flows off of the tongue like orange blossom honey. "United in our purpose but parted in the light" `Tis the lot of lovers to embrace the anonymity of night. Well-penned friend.
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Good job!! keep writing!
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How extraordinary!
Usually the heart yearns for the day ... but in this poem, the sigh is for the night ... After all the chores of day be done, the sweet togetherness of souls resting in the velvet of night.
Well Poet. I can only bring to your poem my own experience. I hope I read you well.
Rhyme and flow is perfect. Well done.
Blessed be.
Myra
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