The sun and moon are love in tune
with night and day each complement
joined together, midnight to noon.
Sun rising sees moons slow descent
smiling love with fervent glow
with flames her love she represents.
Through eons have they come to know
entwined as one their future sure
their tender light they always show.
Forever will their flame endure
one will not survive without the other
within their world they are secure.
For the seasons cannot do without
their union's what it's all about.
Author notes
Form - Terza Rima - :Love - Metaphor
My First Ever!
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Contest: Terza Rima - :Love - Metaphor by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended June 26, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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ah the dance of the celestial - their bodies are hot and cold waves of rippled space, a perfomance for the eye - a good poem
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Damn and blast! Silly me!
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many forms use iambic p but they don't all have to be! that's what these form experts assume to be the case but one can use whatever beat - it's like with the villanelle and triolter forms i often get or hear see people saying it should be this etc but it's optional.
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that's wrong that comment saying it should be 10.
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Thank you for your entry
Love the relationship you paint between the sun and the moon, and how they do their dance of love throughout the days and nights.
The syllable count was off by three for each line. You had 8 syllables per line and it should have been ten. The stressed syllables though were right on. Good solid first try, next time you can try and stretch it to get the full syllable count
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
wow mum this is butiful
good luck in the contest
xxx cheeky xxx
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Another wonderful characature, wonderful despcriptive words. I love the line, with flames, her love she represents.
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1 - 7 of 7
