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Parched Life

    Dampened hopes fall upon

               my empty shallow soil,

    where no amount of downpour

    can quench what cannot be

 

    Leaving only a moist reminder

    of a once saturated spirit

    in growth's completeness

 

    [an authentic aura ... adrift]

 

    And I bleed my worth absent

    in seconds that surround

                       endless aching time

    Remembering rays that once

    fought through this dark mind

 

    [no longer penetrating peace]

 

    Growth cannot be sustained

    in this environment of dereliction

    As once again shadows dawn

    upon my soul in this

                  surrender to desolation

 

    [my heart's constant companion]

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic, 20 lines
Please credit artist: Wondering Time. by *angelreich

(ahh the dark... I know it well..)

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Weltt silver member
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful metaphors here! Such dark emotion drawn through the whole poem. The alliteration and the presentation of this helped it flow perfectly. Highly creative take on that picture. Very much enjoyed and grats on the silver!


  • Leila
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Great write to go with that picture. Amazingly dark, and so full of emotion. Love the use of metaphor. Awesome sis xx


  • In Too Deep1 gold member
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    A very impressive depiction of the prompt. The depth of emotion, movement and color are beautifully solicited. Loved the alliteration and metaphor. A most enjoyable read. Thanks for entering and best wishes in the comp.


  • Ravensdark
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh the dark indeed. Is it not like a comforting companion? Very well written and excellent use of imagery, tis poigant indeed.Great write best of luck...


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 31

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    Wow hun! A very dark take on the prompt! You have really went beyond with this! Describing a deserted land to your heart. Brilliant! Best of luck in your contest. ♥


  • xCandieKissesx
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Simply beautiful! It matched the pic so perfectly and was leaking metaphor and imagery. What a lovely piece of art you've penned out here, So filled with pure emotion! Great job Cuz!

  • penman gold member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a powerful and vivid creation. Terrific poem for the image. Best of luck in the contest.


  • CinfullyDelicious
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    wow, just like deep words...how you put them all SiS

    of downpour

    can quench what cannot be



    this is so well written, just drew me in..i could read it again and again
    Gold trophy worthy this one




    Cin


  • The Unknown Poet1
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    I see you like Me are messed up I have come to believe that one with a sliver of intelligence, creativity running through their veins, and the courage to delve within the mmerky depths of self are messed up more often then not. You have cruel courage? This speaks of a heart given and tresspassed upon but never give up on how you give love for it is in the darkness our lessens are illuminated and we have the opportunity to grow and the hope that we'll end up in a position to be prepared for the one that carressess our heart with a touch we thought only we ourselves possessed nice!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    A beautifully penned poem, love the darkness within your words. A very bleak picture to pen for but you've done an awesome job! All the best in the contest


  • SuicidalLover gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Oooo...nice one sis...a real winner here! I wish you the best of luck!
    ~Kystal Angel


  • crimsondew silver member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    *sigh* so beautiful..so sad too...so well brought out from the picture..love this..a winner for sure..All the best!

  • chiefmac
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem. It moves through dark shadows, the metphor of life and love drawn into a dark mind. Shadows drain this soul to desolation. Desolation a hearts companion. Sad and brings the reader to extend emotion that leaks through the mind brings futile images forward where happiness slips away.


  • perfectsunset
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, you know it well.. and you write it well too! I love the beauty you have penned here.. each one of your dark writes discretely has a small bead of hope, and you express them all in a beautiful way, that leaves the reader overwhelmed with your talent.
    This was very deep, and you took that picture and literally turned it upside down, totally giving it new depth and true emotion of the soul. Good luck in the contest hun, worth gold!!

  • faderman1959
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Such weariness! The weight of trials and tribulations rings all throughout this. As Tasha says, "impeccable wording". Well done!

  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    mia bella cugino...I love what you have done here, it's all too perfect;
    your wording is impecable, and the imagery is beautifully sad...surely this is pure gold.

    Best of luck

    TAsha


  • aboomer silver member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Great wording to go with that picture - full of the depth of sorrow, lonliness, and loss - a complete picture of total desolation. Yet even in that picture, there is beauty - if you look for it.
    best wishes in your contest.


  • solo wisp gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    all too well ... come to the light! Be bright chipper and fancy free! weeeeeee! heh

    Be the happy little cow-milker!

    You know you want to ...

    sigh. The ending ... quite true.



    Steve


  • Lucy. gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    surrender to desolation, powerful words. Such a sad write, it has a feeling of hopelessness (and I feel like screaming, no! Don't surrender).
    Good luck in the contest.


  • KayJay gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Such sadness and pain here... and it rings with a truth borne of a belief that you know these feelings... which increases the sadness... Beautiful - but I'm sorry that could write this so honestly...
    Ken

  • Bob Fox
    May 28

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    The picture

    The picture and the words attached are perfect. But then again the heart reveals such a sadness that cannot be denied. The poet and the heart, strange how well they go together


  • Swangrnv gold member
    May 28

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    yes

    I can relate to the depths of which you speak of. this is dark but brillantly written my friend. lots of luck to you in the contest.


  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Beautifully written. You have captured so much feeling and emotion in this write. You alwasy continue to amaze me. Best of luck in this contest

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