Hear the children weep;
hungry, hurting,
abandoned.
Damnable indifference
of mankind putrefies
the pith of my spirit.
This travesty you ignore,
release your voice,
or damn you eyes!
Author notes
5/29/08 HM
Option 8/prewrite on Child Abuse
In a list
A contest entry
- Semi Quicky - Dark prompt by Sanguinarius.
900 points, ended May 29, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest: Child Abuse Prevention - June by Page Shut down.
600 points, ended July 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Brutally honest comments please.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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your words reflect strong emotions on the realitysof the milloins of children abused lost and lonely and we must all try and change to stop all of these atrocities all over the world we will fight with our words to try a get listening hears fantastic poem
This travesty you ignore,release your voice,or damn you eyes!thank you for entering the contest and good luck in the contest
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Thank you maralisa (pretty name!), child abuse is an abomination. The purest evil I can imagine.
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shocking
Really a very shocking picturea as the piece with your imagary is. I like the way you trying to rouse the interest with this contest poem. It was short and too the point, if I had anything that I may have changed it would have been the last line as it doesn't have the feel of the rest of your write did. I mean like it didn't do it justice. well done friend good luck in the contest. Image and Visions
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Whoa.
I instantly starting crying when I saw that picture, I had to calm down to read your poem.
In just 9 lines you caused the earth to move as your words scream out to Stop the slaughter and abuse.
This belongs on posters around the world to help get the message across.
♥
Thank you for your entry in Child Abuse Prevention Contest & Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thank you for your comments, I think this should be a poster picture also. Anyone who can look at it and not react doesn't have a heart to begin with.
I hope a lot of people hear us scream!
Deb
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This write suits the graphic and brutal picture all too well and ends with the perfect message "Stop this slaughter!". Well done. ~Jim
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Thank you so much! I was afraid the pic was 'over the top' and would get complaints, not so. You understand and I appreciate that a lot. Truth can't always be pretty.
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this is a short effective piece.. correct me if it is affective lol
your last line was some what abrupt though i think there is a piece missing in there. my two favourite lines were:
"of mankind putrefies
the pith of my spirit."
thanks for entering -
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Most welcome and appreciated. It's a prewrite from a contest that only allowed 20 words, I will enjoy tinkering with it.
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This feels like a punch in the gut...strong words.
good luck in the contest
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Most appreciated, Seven. The picture left me reeling and I only hoped I could express some of my sadness....and rage.
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This poem says so much in just a few short lines. It really makes you pay attention, the photo just added to the effect. Well done
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Thank you so much. Seeing is, unfortunately, believing.
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