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On Time

Missing image
It rumbles over the tracks,
steel against steel, speeding towards its deadline,
brilliant blur of blue streaking across the grassy landscape
being just another engine and cars
to any unaware this trip, this of locomotive thundering power,
which slices the air as an awesome metal behemoth
will vanish from the rails each day at three pm
where it crashed in such devastating destruction.

Spirit of engineer refusing to give up on reaching destination
with his passengers cars full of dreams, newlyweds, salesman
and countless other lives with hopes yet realized.

Now they ride forever from sunrise to the time of death,
sometimes stopping to pick up travelers at abandoned train station
who discover their ticket was issued at grave and lasts an eternity.

Author notes

3. credit photographer, [me] Sailor Ptolema

A contest entry

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Comments


  • sailor ptolema
    June 1, 2008

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    this is such a chilling take! you truly made this your own!
    and I love that it starts like a training beginning to move...slowly and quaint..then it picks up speed, and you introduce the twist...
    You have great diction as well..."behemoth"....truly appropriate word for a train!
    There is such a sadness to this as well...that even in death, the conductor won't stop the train, he keeps going on in remorse...
    and the last 2 lines..are another GREAT twist....picking up recent decedents, who are issued tickets to ride for eternity...
    I love the haunting quality of this....it's pleasantly surprising
    thank you for entering and g'luck


  • KayJay
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice take... the imagery of a ghost train (which unfortunately they are becoming) repeating it's journey is wonderful... Best of luck.
    Ken


  • Rclane gold member
    May 30, 2008

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    Love the take on this. The imagery flows well throughout as if it too follows the rails and holds true to course...very nicely done. Good luck.


  • PerfectImperfection
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a very deep and thoughtful piece. Great sense of imagery throughout. It reminds me of one of those old "Amazing Stories" episodes... Truly poignant!