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to the ladies...

 

May I be the first to say,

things should have never been this way.
I know that what you need is so much more,
not rolled up in a ball, crying on the floor.

Roses and chocolates are nice,

but not all the time.
There are days where I know

you need to be held tight.
That when you cry a river,
I need to be your dam.
Why shouldn't I expect this from myself
if I'm going to be called "your man"?

On behalf of every man, I apologize ladies,
for failing at doing all that we could,

especially when you needed us there the most.
I don't want to ever see you cry again.
It makes me question what kind of man I am,
when my lady is crying at night
and I'm not being the man I know I can be.

Talk is cheap, I know I've done plenty.
When will my actions show that I care?
Because everytime I mess up,

I just show up with red roses

and think that solves the problem, but it doesn't.
There's so much more to it than that.
If I claim that I love her,
how often do my actions match?
Or do they at all?

This is for all of you,

every broken heart, every shattered dream,
every tear drop fallen over someone

who hasn't been who they should be.
I apologize, I can't explain the reasons

why I've been this way.
I don't know them myself.
You are my queen, but I have been a fool.

I won't take this love for granted.
But if I have to get down on my knees
for you to hear my plea, then I will.

Ladies, I am sorry,
from the bottom of my heart.
Let no man treat you wrong.
If it could be possible,
can we try this again?
Could there be a fresh start?

 

Author notes

Lowercase Prelude

Option - 7) Apologies - I want a poem about apologizing to someone, this choice allows for the people who want to write a longer piece because i want you to tell me what you did and how you apologize. Make it poetic though not a story.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 99 of 112     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • angel-of-music
    October 27

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    i abosolutely love this piece. you really encompass all the emotions girls feel at the hands of mistakes made by guys. Keep up the great work! This is definitely a favourite of mine


  • whitecoffee
    October 27

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    wow...close to tearing up a bit here...thanks for writing this so I could read it


  • Storminbrenda silver member
    October 26

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    Very Good write how many wow factors does this cause a few i bet well done and good luck

  • Not bad. Whether there is rhythm or not.. sometimes you just have to write. This is a perfect example. Honest man.. Honest life. Keep it up!

  • whoa.. I am completely in love with you now, haha jk. this was nice done, but I'm a bit cofused by the structure. There didn't seem to be an obvious pattern.


  • whoudini
    June 21
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    Have to give you that cause I could have been the man that I should have been to all my exs


  • whoudini
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    Have to give you that cause I could have been the man that I should have been to all my exs


  • Ray Von
    June 21

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    While reading this poem I sensed it lacks rhythm. The punctuation and change of line don't emphasise the phrases and fragment the poem.
    On the other hand the language is not forced and is honest, so I congratulate you for that

    Maria


  • LadyRay
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    Your pleas are a lovely symphany, pure love is what you have displayed here. No riddles or deep complexities, you speak right to the point and that's why I admire this poem...


  • nobodys-girl
    June 20

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    this is so good...if only everyman could realize this, like would be so much better. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!

  • I love how you apologize for the rest of the men in the world. Seems just like you to do that.
    I like this, makes me glad that there is at least one good guy out there.


  • simplefarmgirl
    December 11, 2008
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    aww! What a sweetheart. :-)

    :-D


  • nichtmich silver member
    December 11, 2008

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    Intriguing and original. I like the flow and rhythm, but it leaves me wondering what wrong was committed. Eloquent and poignant.


  • catalyst.
    October 2, 2008

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    The rhyming pattern confused me a bit. Though I enjoyed the concept. I love how you twisted the cliche of chocolate and roses


  • tearyeyedbutterfly
    September 17, 2008

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    This is a beautiful poem! And in answer to the last line: I think I will give men another chance, thanks to poems like this one! Thank you for your entry.

  • strangerforeigner
    September 11, 2008

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    You know,it's reassuring to know that someone in the world is interested in doing the right thing. The only criticism I have is that you start the poem with a rhyme scheme, then totally drop it and switch to free verse. Either is fine, but it's jarring to the reader to have both.


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 11, 2008
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      Well, honestly, I didn't care all that much about being "poetically correct", I just wanted to send a message.

      Although, you're right. I could've gone about it in a bit more organized manner. Well, you learn from your mistakes, right?


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 14, 2008

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    This is for all of you
    Every broken heart, every shattered dream
    Every tear drop fallen over someone who can't be who
    they should be
    I apologize
    I can't explain the reasons why
    I don't know them myself
    You are my queen, what makes me smile
    But I have been a fool

    Wow! APOLOGY ACCEPTED!!! Hahahah. Wait a minute, you're my brother!! Well it was very sincere and simple. Great job!

  • piccola silver member
    August 14, 2008

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    apology accepted this is great even though I enjoy rhyme most of the time. most men aren't swine...not all of the time anyway.


  • Living-Out-Loud
    August 14, 2008

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    wow, if only more men could come to the same conclusions you have met, the world would be a nicer, more together place.


  • SunDew
    August 13, 2008

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    breath taking

    Wow! Awesome!

    I would very much like to have this on my profile...I'd give proper credit, of course. I'll only put it there with your permission.

    I don't know what else to say about this superb piece, other than this: You have seen into the hearts of all women. Thanks so very much for sharing it!


    ~Bright


  • She burns
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Our anthem


  • Yunalonei
    August 13, 2008

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    Impressive

    Very impressive piece.
    Not only is this well written but you have given a different take on apologising to a whole gender rather than to someone specifically.
    Great write and good luck in the contest


  • DeathtoloveShade gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    I think this is good

    I wish there where more men out there who relaize this and if you really believe what you wrote then you are one in a million.


  • sonik
    August 13, 2008

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    got the right points !!!!
    well but it's not easy to be all of this, as it's not easy for us to be what u expect


  • Avie
    August 12, 2008

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    when will your actions show that you care-your still talking arent you-very well, i surmise-if only more men contained your mentality on the subject-nice


  • Rheea gold member
    August 12, 2008

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    No not me

    no not me. Talk is cheap your right about that.
    Good luck on finding your soul mate. Nice write but you have to know this is what abusers say when they come back wanting you to let them back in.


  • Valley Girl silver member
    August 12, 2008

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    OMG! I have tears in my eyes with this! This is so beautiful and moving! I can't even explain.. wow.. I really like when you talked about talk being cheap and taking the easy way out with roses... That sometimes we just need to be held... You couldn't of said it better! Tis is fantastic! Thank you for sharing this! I am bookmarking this for sure!


  • Andi. gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    my dear friend Chris.
    If only the man in my life would stop treating me like his maid, and write me something like this, my world would be a much better place.
    what a fantastic write.
    well done
    ♥ Uni


  • Radiance
    August 12, 2008

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    I really love this piece. It's touching, it's heartfelt, it's emotional, and it's romantic. Even though there are girls out there who feel that material things can solve anything, the vast majority would rather have a man who listens... understands... and comforts.

    Few actually find men like that.

    And few men actually realize what they've done.

    Thank you for sharing this; it's very beautiful.


  • onthebalcony
    August 12, 2008

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    I personally like diamonds after being rolled up like a ball crying on the floor! (hehe) I certainly hope that this poem wins back your gals trust but I am thinkin' she's been cryin' WAY TOO MUCH! Good Luck with your new found sensitivity.


  • Beautyfull-x-Angel
    August 12, 2008

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    i know so many guys that should be apologising, but yet you have when its not just you fault if it is at all. so to you my friend thank you, for taking your time to show women that they can be respected by someone they havent even met. thank you for allowing other men to read tis and realize they have done wrong or are doing wrong and that they may need to change.


  • LadyProphecie
    August 12, 2008
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    I LOVE IT!!

    At last, this is exactly what a girl wants, and what a girl needs!


  • Lonely
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, if all the boys were to think like that, I think there will be no more broken hearts, break ups and tears.. but then who will value the true hearts like yours? I've read this sort of poem after ages, you've touched my heart! Great write, Im sure from a great person. Keep writing!

    Peace,
    Lonely..


  • Ti Amo Te Quiero
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This is such a beautiful piece!! I can feel the sincerity in your poem, you just like, totally poured this out from deep within. Great job!! Great read!! Enjoyed it a lot


  • Honeylady
    August 12, 2008

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    Great piece

    Have you been living my life by the side of me and I did not know it? So much of it mirrors what so many of us live through which makes us think that there is something wrong with us....and not THEM !! Thank you.


  • reeseXtheXsoldier
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    haha!

    I love this! You want to be my man? Wow... I am astonished!

    Thanks for writing such a great piece! I wish you all the best of luck in your creative ventures to come!

    Bravo, once more, and happy writing!

    The Famous Reese Bailey


  • Puked Up Pixie
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It's really heartfelt and sweet. I wish more guys were like this.
    Thank you for the amazing read

    And never change how you are!


  • movedon
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Deep write. I want my fiance to read this!!!!!! Every girl should read this. You are so relational and can bring out such deep emotions in your writes.

    Warmest,

    Mylee


  • crazymomma
    July 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AWW... this seems straight from the heart. I know I would give you another chance. This is so lovely. Thanks for entering. I am sure someone will be very lucky to have you in their life.

  • MissIveniv
    June 4, 2008

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    I'm touched. Apologies accepted.

    I wish this poem is communicated to all guys on this planet :

  • bluelion
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing and touching to I am sure every woman's heart. There are many times we want to hear something soromantic it makes us melt into a pool of mush.


  • Ms.Bee
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It's beautiful.


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So, a confession to the spirit. Something very truthful and so often played out. When all else fails fall back on some trivial gift and think it will all be forgotten, whatever it was that a man showed no sensitivity too when it was truly needed most. I think this is great.


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    June 2, 2008

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    Appreciation!

    Thanks for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list

    ~Lilac


  • Dark Otter
    June 1, 2008
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    Wow! Lots of comments.

    The ladies must really have liked it. Good luck in your contests.


  • ZachP gold member
    June 1, 2008

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    I am a man, and I endorse this message

    well written, my friend.... good luck in the multitude of contests you're entered in :)

     

    thank you for sharing, and all the best

    -zach

  • summore
    June 1, 2008
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    Some things need to be said...that was it.


  • HazardousHeroine
    June 1, 2008

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    Thank you so much for understanding us girls...if on;y the guy I'm in love with right now could be this way. You really made me want to forgive all the guys who have hurt me. You are an amazing poet, and any girl would be lucky to have you. DO you think you could somehow teach other guys to be like you? lol

  • lowercase prelude gold member
    June 1, 2008
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    Well, if I had a lady in my life right now, I'm sure she would be proud of me. But, that's not the case. However, I'm working on it. lol


  • jul
    June 1, 2008

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    hmm, good job! it's nice to hear a guy say when you cry a river, i've done my share of that, i need to be your dam. amazing! i really enjoyed this, not because you said sorry, but because there is a sense of truly understanding women aren't as complicated as some guys think. a little help goes a long way, especially when there are babies involved. your girl is very lucky to have you. thanks for sharing.


  • mamajoey
    June 1, 2008

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    10 of 10

    How dare you be so good when our men are so bad. You made me cry. You have no idea how badly I need my dh to... To do a lot of things. Thank you for a good cry.

  • karaharapriya silver member
    May 31, 2008

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    Chivalry and apology

    Neat mix of 'what a woman wants to hear' It has a nice flow and somehow manages to touch the heart. Keep your sincerity and your direct tone and keep writing.


  • Rainbow.Shadows
    May 31, 2008

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    I'm am so glad that a guy can finally admit wrong and that things and "I'm sorry" doesn't always make everything better. This poem is amazing, it flows and shows emotion. You are a wonderful poet and this is one of the best poems I have ever read.


  • HiddenByTheDark
    May 31, 2008

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    Im so glad a guy can finally admit that he's not always there when he needs to be and that one "I'm sorry" doesn't fix everything. It's a great poem and I think it's 1 of the better one's I've read


  • BehindTheShadow
    May 31, 2008
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    I read this as if it was personally for me and it made me feel a wee bit better. Thank you.


  • thelordreigns gold member
    May 31, 2008

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    Ahh...this is so sweet. Apology accepted for all those hurts from the past. It is good to let go of our offenses and move on with our life. Forgiveness is a blessing.

    Well done sweet soul.

    - joanne -


  • Valery
    May 31, 2008
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    Very good

    Well written and up to the point.

    Valery

  • Honeydew
    May 30, 2008
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    u got?

    my heart....I,ll give you a new start!!!beautiful write!!!

  • wendymolly
    May 30, 2008

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    Every stanza ...that of a true soul that always means well. Your thoughts and feelings are really put on a display so honost, that it may be considered uncommon. Your a finalist!

  • xhiko1314
    May 30, 2008

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    Totally amazing

    I love how you addressed it to all ladies from all men, not just yourself to a specific person. It made it very easier to connect to it.


  • Sharcu silver member
    May 30, 2008

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    WOOO!! YEA!

    Ok, just had to get that out. You did an amazing job on this piece, dude. I'm sure all the ladies loved it (not going to go down and read all the comments you got, but I'm sure they did lol). First poem I've read of your's, but you already got my respect as a fellow poet. Well done!

    --Tim


  • Night FireWolf
    May 30, 2008
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    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one like you. Very inspiring and meaningful. I hope to see more.


  • Kleroo
    May 30, 2008

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    IF YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAY ANY WOMEN WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU I ONLY HOPE IT NOTS SOME BULL CRAP TO GET HER TO FALL IN YOUR SNARE AGAIN

  • Nighttime angel
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW.. this is an amazing poem that you have written. this is a beautifully, very heartfelt and wonderful poem.
    Congratulations on the spotlight, I can see why..

    good luck in both contests

    kat


  • Dienush
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, now THAT is a considerate, loving poem. I wish more men were aware...


  • Harlequin Bunny
    May 30, 2008

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    Personally, I have a lot of men like this in my life, and it drives me insane .. I don't mean any offense to you by saying this, but .. I'm a very strong-willed person, and what I'd like, for once, is a man who can stand up to me, and not turn himself into a rug to be walked all over, without being an a-hole about it .. I have NEVER met a man that could walk the lines .. I'm NOT a queen, I don't want to be treated like one, but neither do I want to be forced to bow to a man as "king" .. all I want is someone who can truly be a partner, in all definitions of the word.
    Still, though .. beautifully written .. congrats on the front-page feature!


  • Mainzy
    May 30, 2008

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    Oh my god! This is beautiful, and just something honestly I never thought I'd hear. I wish every man could be this smart and forthcoming. Well done, for this piece and for seeing beyond yourself!


  • Zraiiah
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thought prevoking

    It's not just guys who don't understand, believe it or not. Men are just as confusing to us ladies as the vice versa. The thing is we try not to admit it. This is a great write, and though some guys are bad, there are surprisingly a lot of good ones out there. Awesome poem though! Truly, keep it up. Best wishes~


  • SincerelyMegan
    May 30, 2008

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    I wish the majority of guys could think this way!
    It's great how you put all of this into a poem.
    It flows so well!


  • EternitysLastWish
    May 30, 2008

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    Such a nice chap
    Nicely written and very heartfelt.

    Good luck!


  • Anaiya
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Really good poem - such a nice guy! Well done


  • PoetsHeart
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow - thank you - from the bottom of my heart for a man who "gets it" and your lady is a very lucky one indeed - do you thikn you could teach a class on this? :-) lololol

    Good luck in the contest


  • ladame
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A little bit of faith restored in men. But reminds me why I don't want to be in a relationship again.


  • CharcoalScreams
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely wonderful. If only there were more guys out there like this! It was really sweet. Thank you

    Sammie xox


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 29, 2008

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    Some men never apologize for their bad actions; and some certainly should. Liked the sentiments expressed in these lines - wish you well in the contest.

  • SiNgStAr101
    May 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very good!!!

    So correct it's not even funny!!!
    You were dead on about how a girl feels sometimes.


  • LittleBee
    May 29, 2008
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    Beautiful!! Truly it is!!! If only all the men out there could see it this way!


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    May 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    At last, one who gets it! Unfortunately, the individuals will have to apologise for themselves, I'm afraid. But, a piece like this renews my faith in man.


  • BlaqkAudioBabe
    May 28, 2008
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    LOVE IT,
    I can't say more...

  • JWGoethe
    May 28, 2008

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    Great write. Heartfelt emotion and all that, But, dude. Are you trying to make the rest of us look bad? Sure, we sometimes cause grief in those we live. We can be insensitive, uncaring brutes. We cheat, lie, and take take take...but, no one's perfect. I've been hurt by women at least as much as I have caused pain. I don't need or want apologies...
    Thought provoking write. Bravely spoken, though I'm sure that it is a violation of the by-laws of the He-men women hater's club...


  • forethought
    May 28, 2008

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    I wish to any holy divinity that had a hand in our creation that, at least in some point in their lives, guys think like this. This is an amazing piece that doesn't need to be flowered up with pretty language, but expressing in raw detail the pain that one feels when they feel that they have wronged another human being. I think I speak for every female who reads this poem that any other female who refuses to give you a fresh start and forgive you for whatever you have done seriously needs to reread. This is a beautiful piece of poetry, a carved piece of truly human heart not sullied by selfishness or society, but able to feel remorse, and I thank you dearly for sharing this with all of us.

  • Still Gonna Shine
    May 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    too bad there aren't more guys who actually think like this


  • Amana Araya Jabari
    May 28, 2008

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    Yup your a keeper! This is so sweet and it acctually helps me to know we're not THAT impossible to understand


  • Soft-Rain
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well i cant add anything that hasnt already been said,
    Except thanks for trying to understand us woman, yes we are emotional creatures,we are like silk stained easy,fine threads,but delicate.
    A man who can say hes sorry and mean it deserves to be rewarded!
    A brillent insite!

    hugs
    Lifetime


  • Abby Apathy. silver member
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    heartfelt. very sweet and relentlessly beautiful.

    like i have said before; whoever gets you should hang on tight.

    ♥ Abby


  • Simply a Memory
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you. Someone that finally understands that we hurt. Although as a girl I also know that guys do try and sometimes they can't always be there in the right ways. But its the thought that counts and any girl that really is in love with a guy should understand this. I just haven't had much luck in relationships. My best relationship was like this I dated the guy for two years and he never let me fall he was always there in one way or another. When we broke up I was crushed but he was still there for me....and to this day as my best friend he still is. I understand that they can't always be there but sometimes I wish they could. Right now I need a guy that will understand this. Excellent write, I loved it. Again thank you for writing something like this.


  • XBrittniX
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a awesome poem i love it, u are such a good writer you can feel the emotion when u write, i love it bye

  • She Stole My Voice
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are amazing.
    Finally someone apologizes,
    even though it's not your fault,
    thank you anyway :]
    Also, thanks for sending me a link,
    I think I needed this.
    You better win this contest!


    ~Princess of Shadows~


    PS: Bookmarking!


  • tortured-heart
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this one is amazing...as usual...keep up the beautiful emotion filled writes that make me shiver and tear up
    peace, love, & cheese


  • Synester16Gates
    May 28, 2008

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    i absolutly loved it. it speaks to me and you have a great way of writing what you think. your wicked cool.
    love,
    tre


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww.. what a lovely write!! A heartfelt expression to someone special.. but also a reaching out in understand to all women...


  • lostangel07
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. Thankyou. Its really made me feel like guys do want ot help us I think its something that all the girls need to see
    xx

  • Brian A
    May 28, 2008

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    Well-written poem. In line 28 you have lover, I think you meant love. This poem was full of regret for the past both personal ane cultural. It alsnm contains passion about what man should be. Proud to hear you give one up for the ladies. nice job.


  • Iridessa MoonFlower
    May 28, 2008

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    Wow! This is written with such passion. I really enjoyed reading this. I want my man to say every word you wrote, but that will never happen. As I read this your words mesmerized me as if I was in a trance. Once I got to the end I thought wow, does it have to end? But you truly do have a masterpiece. I am glad you have notice just how men treat us wrongly, even being one yourself! This is awesome! Good luck in the contest! In Love & Light...Blessed Be ~~Iridessa MoonFlower~~


  • luna-midnight gold member
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwww this is great
    a sweet and geuine poem, showing you care
    lovely write and good luck
    take care
    stephanie


  • blueyez
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wowwwww!!!!! This is simply lovely! THank you for sharing!
    Peace and Love

  • beautiful, really. it hits close to home for me because i have a few pieces like this, and i'm always in this mindset... i really really loved this. i don't know what to say other than it's an amazingly sweet and perfect thought. lovely...

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