Paradigms shift in the
transfiguration of time
as mortal minds evolve
and perceptions change
with each new experience
We are intergalactic travelers
passing through invisible dimensions
as spiritual beings wrapped
in the cocoon of human flesh
awaiting the metamorphosis
of enlightenment in the
gravitational field of discovery
Author notes
Rules suck
The inspiration for this piece
is change and all the uncertainty
that life holds.
A contest entry
- Give me what you got...2 by Luckintheshadows.
1000 points, ended June 20, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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An excellent source of inspiration, it certainly comes through very clearly!!!
I love this poem, your imagery is great and your words profound.
Thanks for sharing this, and for entering my contest,
Luck. -
Author notes make sense.
You ran with the ideas supplied and led us on an interesting train of thought.
Willy
ler 
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Your opening two lines set the stage for this beauty and the miracles that unfold through each change.
Adaptability in itself, is a miracle in my eyes and we are forever drawn to discovery.
I love where you went with this prompt to create such a though provoking write. Nice work. Best of luck in the contest. ~Pamela
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Pleas left align your piece. I will be back. ~Pamela
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This does
make me think of the film with the same title, and the premises of the chaos theory. Nothing is static, and you have indicated this so well in your poem. Your use of wording depicts the dynamics of change in a 'well-flowing' uncomplicated write. Good luck to you. Frans
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well done
Flows well. Good use of your excellent vocabulary. Very thoughtful. Very meaningful.
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very deep
I think you have spent some time in thought over this poem. I like it a lot. It is unique. It presents ideas which people do not mention a lot in poetry and you do it in such a flowing manner with very apt vocabulary.
I read it because I was so impressed with the poem you submitted in the LOVE contest and I am not dispoointed by the poetry you write.
I am not sure about 'invisable' maybe American, but in English it is 'invisible.' But, I am in a different country [Australia] and the spelling may be different.
I would also delete both words "AS".
I am impressed by your abilty to write a whole poem without puctuation...that is challenging and difficult to do, but you have succeeded.
Maybe I need a paradigm shift too, but I felt like your capitals letters at the beginning of each verse sometimes spoilt the movement of the meaning.
Why am I being critical? Because it is such a lovely poem, so well written and I believe you need honest feedback, like us all, so you may develop as a poet by seeing what other people think..and also there is also a question under this box asking for ideas.
Then you poetry may be even better...
Now I am off to read some more of your poems.
Richard
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Hello Richard
I would like to personally thank you
for your indepth and analytical
analysis of my work. I appreciate
the thought that went into your most
constructive comments. I applaud the
tact and class which you used.
I believe alot of the AP members could
learn a great deal from you.
Every suggestion or critic you made was
intelligent and valid.
Most people on this site who call them
selves critiquing someones work are rude
and obtuse. Instead of helping they only
irritate and make you feel bad.
Thank you so much for showing such class
and maturity. Sincerely,darell
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nice language and a deep sentiment. I especially like the image in the fourth stanza.
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Awsome Write !
I really enjoyed reading this poem.You have written the whole truth about humans and their actions all wrapped up here .Your Author Note's drew me in even closer than I already was on how I was feeling about this great peice of art work ! Good Luck In The Contest !God Bless you in all you do and write !!!!!!! Brenda Gae
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Hi Brenda
I would like to thank you for your
encouraging words of support.
I found the sentiments to be
sincerely genuine. I'm glad you
enjoyed my poem and I invite you
to read more of my work.
Blessings
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this is nice i enjoyed the read best of luck in the contest
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