He always was the sheep,
Dangling from their hands.
He never felt complete
While waiting for commands.
He holds his rifle tight
Praying for his friends.
He knows they won’t survive,
The battle never ends.
He washes off the blood
Dribbling down his cheek.
He is not really there;
His mind’s trapped in last week.
He keeps that dreadful day
Revolving in his brain.
He cannot block the thoughts;
He’ll never be the same
He recollects the crash
Burrowing through his ears.
He tries to shut it out;
Their screams are all he hears.
While two of them laid still,
The others squirmed around.
Unscathed yet befuddled,
He scrambled to the ground.
The screams turned to silence,
Tearing away his fears.
While sprawling to his men,
The soldier shed no tears
Their lives were at his feet,
They huddled from the pain.
He could not dress their wounds,
His men would die in vain.
Now he gazes forward,
Vacant and unaware,
Recycling the moment,
When he was in despair.
Called from active duty,
They honored his control.
Promoting his function,
With power to extol.
He then became the shepherd,
Bestowing the commands.
Who to send to slaughter?
The next victim in his hands.
Author notes
Dryice808
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow! quite a great story you have penned here!! full of wonderful details and images...great from start to finish!! thanks for sharing it! peace an dlight, Kendal
. Rewarded 6
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about what it was?
is it a real story/?
so painful and tragice
you described well.
keep up the good work
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
. Rewarded 8
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Simply brilliant!
I think you captured the emotion extremely well in this very vivid piece of writing, not only that, but with a rhyme that does not feel forced either, something that is often difficult to pull off.
At the start when it says "He recollects the crash" I assumed it was some sort of car crash for some reason but after reading further it became evident what it was, so perhaps it might be useful to outline just what the crash was if that is possible without damaging the flow.
It is very to the point also, which is nice to read when there is so much poetry full of metaphor, and is quite often a task to comprehend. This on the other hand immediately shows itself for what it is with little mystery or anything like that, which is nice to see once in a while.
Very nice poem, and thanks for posting it for us.
. Rewarded 8
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Awesome job! I really felt the emotion behind this piece! An A+ job! Keep up the awesome work adn thanks so much for the share! I really am looking forward to reading more of your work....which I probably have already............ I read a lot of stuff on here and try to comment on everyones....Sorry for my mindless ramblings.............HAHA!!!!!
Again.....Thanks so much for the brilliant write and share! Good luck with future writes....but judging from this, you don't really need much luck!!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~* -
This power is clear. The reader takes a journey to death with hope to save those screams as some laid still other wait the narrators help. The choice of who next to send into destiny grasp as next victim. The images are clear and concise. The flow and movement are grasped quickly as the reader moves from stanza to stanza as the intensity builds.
. Rewarded 6
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He then became the shepherd,
Bestowing the commands.
Who to send to slaughter?
The next victim in his hands.
~ powerful write. very well written.
. Rewarded 4
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Topical and arresting
Very topical with all the wars raging round the globe and the UN intervening everywhere and sacrificing lives for some supposed moral purpose. And for those assigned responsibility for managing these moral interventionalists deaths incurred will never be erased from their memories
. Rewarded 6
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Sad, yet well done!
Really sad that people have to die in a battle. I am not very much of a political character, so my comment might weigh light.
I am sure that this soldier have to allow a piece of his humanity to die so he can be [able] to do what ever be commanded.
Piercing through his soul is the screams and the trauma, but as time passes he will grow more immune to it.
Highligting the danger of acceptance! This I can debate for pages.
I'll spare you!
Lovely rythym and rhyme and the flow is also enjoyable to read.
Lovely piece!
Becks
. Rewarded 8
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