I left my shoes on her back porch
my car was down the road
She was her daddy’s princess dear
and I was but the toad
She kissed me sweet and called me “Hun”
I’d found the mother lode
Her daddy had another plan
and shotgun down to load
So I took off like scalded dogs
my britches in my hand
I ran ‘til I could run no more
that’s when I saw “The Man”
She cuffed me tight and called me “scum”
“You men are all the same.
You think because you’re well endowed
you light the lady’s flame.”
I knew I was in trouble then
there wasn’t any doubt
She had the gifts of goddesses
that made my sticker stout
Just when I thought my plight at end
her daddy came on scene
When they conferred I heard the words
“I have a plow to clean”
And I was there for all to see
no single stitch of clothes
When he commenced to beating me
about the head and nose
My eyes were black, my nose was blue
everything was hurtin’
But I got news he has no clue
Princess was not virgin
The moral of the story friends
is sure to make you groan
Next time I choose to doff my shoes
I will be home alone
In a list
A contest entry
- Show a Little Humor Or... - closes after 15 entries by Touchof1der.
600 points, ended June 4, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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funny
You made me laugh just about the whole time reading your poem. Good detail work and flow of words. This was a pleasure to read.
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A well-written ...
jaunt of humor that kept me reading to the end to see how you were going to 'get out of that one!' Very clever and you deserved the trophy and points and perhaps learned a wee lesson in the end! joy
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Chuckle
I see why you won the trophy. It's beaut! Sounds like a true story too! Is It? Well we all get in a jam sometimes sorry yours wasn't bloody. ha!
Gotta read my mail,
SEE ya!
Jennifer
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Congrats on the silver...you do have a way with words. This tickled my funny bone...wonder if this shouldn't be an addendum to the Birds and Bees talk.
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this was hysterical...
congrats on the well-deserved Silver and thanks for sharing the laugh
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I wonder if this is why men sleep with their boots on?
I guess you might want to think twice before fooling with a "Princess". Or at least make sure you are out of Daddy's firing range.
Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet. Good luck in the contest! 
♥ Touchof1der
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Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share a smile with you.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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LOL This is priceless! Not many 'princesses' are pure these days, but daddy's love is still blind. A cute little ditty to leave your fans laughing. Good luck in the contest, Leo. Patricia
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Ooooo Leo, this is fab! A very funny, pace poem...I love that word 'doff' never heard it before! Great stuff! sj
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Yup! Packed with humor and stellar rhyme. I love the fact that I went on this journey with you my friend. I am laughing out loud over here.
Best keep those "shoes" on those feet, even if they are all that you adorn. Gee...it must have been chilly even in the Summer. LMAO
Great one here!
Love You Always ♥
Renee
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Bloody good stuff
Great rhyme and meter and funny to boot!
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