Knowing it was wrong in the time
we eloped to get married
Though when we made it to the church
solders came and in masses we were buried
We scratched our vows on walls
And kissed with teeth of plaque
From camp to camp we roam
Only gas-masks staring back
We've searched the world over
meeting by fiat at the wall
Two rings placed on our fingers
During a nonchalant brawl
Walking away once more
never really wanting it
Never really caring
Although we were tied by fingers
we knew we would never be together
Years went by but two met once more at that wall
Clutching each other ready to just end it forever
Four femurs lay at rest now
Entwined along with toes
Twenty fingers grasping desperately
Engagement rings now plucked away by crows
A contest entry
- gasmasks and engagement rings by -foreverandever.
750 points, ended September 12, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Something thrown together one night
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Love the last two stanzas. Such a sharp, moving image. I think I use the word "poignant" too much, but it's applicable here. Sort of reminds me of the end of Victor Hugo's novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame: years later, Quasimodo's skeleton is found in the belltower clutching that of Esmerelda. Nice image.
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Thank you very much for reading, and a lovely picture you have brought forth from the poem.
^^
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Also forgot to mention how much I like the following stanza:
"We scratched our vows on walls
And kissed with teeth of plaque"
That line is packed with....well, SOMETHING. Just posted a contest early this morning, if you're interested in entering.
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2410065
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it really bugs me when people don't read the rules
i specifically asked for no rhyme
and it's a shame because this is a really good poem, just not what i'm looking for in this contest -
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Yeah, I did read the rules, but for some reason this one just kept wanting to rhyme.
So I said, what the heck, go for it.
Trust me, I tried not rhyming this, it it sucked like that...so tada
Thanks for reading it though -
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it's okay
i love the last two lines
they sort of leave you breathless
and the image is wonderful
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I love dark love. You know how to pen it well.
Beautiful Schmeezmar.
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thank you, you as well.
One more friggin day of school!
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well written and such a story line entwined together. great job. I like it.
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thanks for reading!
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