It’s not my fault you can’t always see
I don’t disguise, it’s you
who fails to gaze beyond what’s really there.
We can’t all be brazen butterflies
choking on self indulgence,
sometimes we have to fall into a background
if only to keep us safe
from our detractors.
But look and you may see
the me who isn’t there.
Author notes
i've written this in about 2 minutes, i will redraft sometime
A contest entry
- QUICKIE,QUICKIE! 10/10 lines/ will judge as soon as I have 10 poems! by imahealer.
525 points, ended May 31, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Once again you cause me to think
love lines 4 and 5
slick real slick
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Nice job for 2 minutes (wish I could write a trophy winning poem in 2 minutes.) Love the last two lines.
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This is exceptional for a rough draft. I think the middle kinda bogs down a bit, but the rest is just great. The last two lines are my favorite:
But look and you may see
the me who isn’t there.
Keep at it!
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2 minutes??? Wow!!! This is amazingly written to me. I think the atmosphere that the poem gives off is what I love the most. So great write!
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Amazing once again fellow poet!! The tone and theme behind this was really interesting and I adored the descriptions incorporated within. I'm amazed you can come up with something lovely as this in only 2 minutes!! Great work, keep it up
~Emily~ xx
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For a first draft I feel this is really good! This reminds me of "you can't see the forest for the trees"
Great take on the image, as the spider blends in with the ecru colors of the tree. Many times, being camoflauged and observing is better than flaunting your colors, only to be eaten alive by those waiting to destroy your ego! Deep take on the prompt. Thank you for entering and very best wishes!
Linda -
wonderfully written for that short length of time.g reat job. I hope you all the best
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