Ever as my anchor
in depths where always been
chain flexed in countless waves, without
ever being seen;
from far below in obscurity
held strong with subtle constraint,
Shook a small boatdelighted in widths to mess,
spattered in daubs of paint.
Made wet in its resistance
tested in time-sway and stretched,
happy soul
also brought to be scared
half way to death as it wretched.
Pulled dead straight this chord of life;
perfectly under tension
more -
to reach my desire and snapped...boat spun in its ascension
riding adrift with holding link lost
to cry plunge-attempts at its secret,
as the ocean moves in beloved's belly,
not helping things...
Or is it?
to bust from anchor shred the sails
as planks sink in despair,
I amabsorbed into the ocean
with me left Everywhere...
Author notes
Pic from Deviantart - Fouled_Anchor_by_t53186
In a list
A contest entry
- Pic Prompt (not a quickie) Come see! by Lucy..
1000 points, ended June 1, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Excellent man! totally brilliant, the last few lines blew me away. Some serious thought has gone into this and you have reaped the rewards with a gold pot , well done !!
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Thank you so much for your eyes and generous words!
Muchly appreciated
Sol
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Another engaging piece. This flow and form seems somewhat insecure [not completing stable or sure of itself] but I feel it pulls it off well - sinks the reader downward and emerges at such a pin point.
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Hi Naradill, it's been a while since I came back to this piece, though I do believe it's a little special to me, a little like a self-portrait. I really value your comment, it confirms I think, about the 'instability' as you put it. The chopped up form I originally felt some concern about, now I see as an appropriate ingredient... I love that you see 'insecurity' in this as it was much a feature in the memories I was largely connecting with when writing.
I believe that you have a very keen eye!
Thanks again.
Sol
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I love this. The flow is divine and I think your use of italics are well placed. 'spattered in daubs of paint', 'not helping things, or is it?' I adore these lines especially, but it's all brilliant. A wonderful take on the prompt. Thank you for your entry.
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You know, before, I couldn't tell you how I felt about this write you inspired with your picture prompt. I will be able to now.
I'm absolutely made up that you awarded it your 'Gold'.
Thank you so much. X
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"I am
absorbed into the ocean
with me left Everywhere..."
Like the jawbone of the sun melting into wavering heat lines.
Excellent.
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This grows and shrinks. I really like that. It has an ebb to it that takes me from one voice to the next. Big and small.
When I grow up I want to manage my balance the way you do.
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I'm made up that you think it has a moving 'ebb', I didn't try hard at that but love the idea of it being there.
You want to go back to being a 'toddler' with me?
I'm so flattered!
Thank you
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Sol
This is a brilliant piece of poetry that would make Holmes smile. To me it is like a lost soul drifting about in the ocean of life, splintered and broken about. And tears ride with the waves
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Bless your eyes Bob.
Much thanks to you
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Brilliant
I am
absorbed into the ocean
with me left Everywhere
To be unshackled, unchained...to scatter in the everywhere...to truly be free in the bliss of what is. Shedding the constraints, allowing them to fall away.
I've read this several times, and it lifts me higher with every pass.
To me, this is a beautiful pen, a wonderful take on the picture prompt, stunning work.
~Erigeneia
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Thank you so much
for your eyes,
and for your generous and insightful comment.
This means much to me.
Sol
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This needs contemplation..read it once..it sings..read it twice..it weeps..fascinating..
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Thank you very much NeonRose!
Very nice to see you.
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[Then] pulled dead straight this chord of life
perfectly under tension
pulled [more] or more and remove pulled
to reach my desire and snapped -
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Yes... thanks again
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I like the italicized connections here and the not so subtle metaphor it contains. The beautifully human line, "as the ocean moves in beloved's belly..."..anchors the entire piece for me. A life lived and the struggles overcome, to rise above, that's how I read this one. My take may be all washed up, but I like my take just the same. Best of luck in the contest. Peace, Rhonda
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I like your take as well.
Thank you Rhonda
Sol
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damn gary... this is good, why did you have to enter huh?? huh?
there are a few places that had me stumbling... not sure on boat span? don't think you need boat there......
and of course the clever couched metaphors here, just had me swooning out in a shapeless ocean and then being captured by a 'big one' ... well not me, well if my Darin read this to me, then he would, and i would.. so maybe she will
ooohh how very dare i ... lolol
lovely stuff hun
you should plunge more often, as the actress said to the bishop
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Thanks Gilly
See what you mean- I'm looking at that 'boat'.
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okay...I'll have to read this a few more times to completely start understanding it, but I like what I read so far! Like that thought of drifting in the ocean..
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Thanks Magic...
I'm not entirely sure that it's completely processed with me yet.
But I feel it's close to it.
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