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if there is a God up there

we are all of the same being
or that is how the story goes
but we're having trouble seeing
we've punched our self right in the nose

why are we still fighting?
there is nothing left to win!
but i guess it's more exciting
not to learn from where we've been

we've got brother killing brother
and again, it is a shame
and everyone's been killing mother
deep down we're all the same

if there is a God up there
he's probably just shaking his head
seems we've all forgoten, down here
every word, that he ever said

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1 - 9 of 9
  • if if if .. nice write

  • yeah, i hear you with this one hun,
    I reckon he is probably so pissed off, he would like to just send down his wrath, and all, right here and now,
    He probably should have held back on the whole free will thing

    I love your line " If there is a god up there" The way you offer up the question is really effective, it
    opens the poem up to believers and non believers alike
    a lot of poets cant do that, they either proclaim (okay okay, like me lol) or they diss it, openly and often disreespectfully, you strike a happy balance

    Also it sort of gives permission not to believe, which is refreshing, and it makes people like me who never usually think about war n stuff(cos it scares me, n im a coward, and an osterich) open up their eyes
    sooo food for thought, offered with the skill, and warmth that always delights me
    Thankyou
    T


  • xxBlack Dawnxx
    September 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    your poem, it is unusualy plesent, strange but it gets the point across i loved it


    • teddybare gold member
      May 24
      Edit | Reply

      thnk you

      seems i missed this comment somehow .. better late then never i hope .. for my response thank you much


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    'Tis an excellent write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Perhaps, you might like to read my poem called: "Blues of Night": A link in a moment.


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You got that right! And, why do we keep fighting? I can't wonder about that one enough. Good poem and great flow.


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    May 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Another wonderful write of truth...my fav. verse...

    why are we still fighting?
    there is nothing left to win!
    but i guess it's more exciting
    not to learn from where we've been


    This says it all...how much more simple could it be???

    Loved it~
    Az


  • tortured-heart
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful...my only issue is that it seems like you were forcing the ryme with the forth line..."we've punched our self in the nose"
    peace, love, & cheese


  • jamiedoring
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent....

    man, you are just writing up a storm...I cant keep up with your new stuff...and ALL across the board in subject matter too....I love variety with my clicks.

    ...this is a subject that is close to many hearts.... unfortunately...as many see their family members deploy to the desert or watch the daily death polls rise on the news.....

    We don't really live in times where we CAN choose to be ignorant...at least not on THIS subject...its in our backyards and living rooms....it cant be easily ignored (out of sight, out of mind) like a a major Earthquake in China for example.

    Wartime Post Traumatic Stress Disorder stats rise daily (today they say 50%)....These are our children and brothers and mothers for crying out loud. Of COURSE this is mind-screwing them....we are not animals (nothing against animals)....our human emotions cant just allow us to kill or see death....and wake up the next morning the same person.
    Impossible.

    I have seen the destruction marks war leaves on the soul....and sadly...I will see more....and so will you....and most everybody else who reads this.

    You sparked a little something in me... and made me have to vent! Which means...you most definitely got your point across. Great write...So very true.

    Nice job.....Oh, I almost forgot...God totally deserves to be capitalized....am I wrong? (if so DON'T answer me back because I will be ticked, lol)

    Thanks for the great read that generated my little novel/gripe/comment/vent session.

    Jamie

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