(no more) Secrets

Do you remember the night of the party?
The one we went to (almost) together,
When you spent the whole night
talking to another girl?
Someone asked me if we were together,
and instead of the usual "we're just friends"
I decided to tell him the truth...
"I wish."
He said he couldn't imagine you
turning me down like that.
I told him I never really expected any different,
And the look in his eyes made me think
for just a moment
You might be wrong.
I might be worth it,
I might be more than you saw in me.

Do you remember the night
We went to the theater
This time just you and me (at first)?
Do you remember how you spent days
Talking about how much you liked that hot young thing
We met that night after the movie?
Do you remember the scorn in my voice,
The sarcasm when I told you good luck with asking her out?
I knew by then that all you had said about protecting me from yourself
Was hypocritical shit.

Do you remember the next time we went to a movie together?
How later that day we ran into some of your other (girl) friends,
And you acted like I was the one interfering in your plans,
Like I was the third wheel.
And I was more loyal to your feelings than to my own,
so I shut up and didn't object.
And I left so quickly, even though I could have stayed out all night.
You may have thought I needed to get home,
Or that I was self conscious in front of other girls
Or maybe you even thought It hurt me too much to see you with someone else.
You may not have thought about it at all.
The truth is I left because I was furious with you
For dismissing me so easily.

Do you remember when You saw me still wearing that bracelet
Months after you gave it to me,
And asked me why I never took it off?
You thought I was joking when I said I wore it
to remind me to look before I leap,
And not to do anything you wouldn't want me to do
Or anything you might do yourself.
But all that was true. 
It was my reminder of you,
Of all the things you taught me
And all the times you saved me,
But also of all the things you did to hurt me.
I wore it to remember both the good and the bad,
So that even among all my good memories of you
I would remember that you were never perfect
And that I shouldn't settle for loving someone
who didn't love me more than you did
in your half-friendship,
Half nothing way.

And do you remember all the times
I tried to contact you,
After we finally drifted apart?
Do you remember how I asked you so many times
To remember how much we cared about each other once?

Do you remember how every day
You used to call me,
If I didn't call you first?
You would check on me, see how I was feeling,
And we would talk for hours.
You always told me about your day,
And what dreams you had,
And what new ideas had bloomed
In your brilliant mind.
You always wanted my opinion
on every new piece of writing,
Every new theory,
Every new song.
And you always wanted to know
what was going on in my mind,
In my life.
And do you remember acting like
it had never mattered,
Like our friendship was nothing more
Than passing acquaintance?
Do you remember the look in my eyes,
The last time you saw me,
Right before I walked away?
The painful rage that burned there,
And the determination that someday,
you would know what you had really done,
When you betrayed me.

Do you remember any of this,
or have you forgotten it all?