Such spherical perfection
The immaculate circle casts
Moments, seconds, memories, hours
Slowly falls from our ageing grasp
Tired hands subtlety adept
To most delicate persuasion
Moments, seconds, memories, hours
Usher's the next generation
An hour glass sand illusion
Reduced to the grains of time
Moments, seconds, memories, hours
Universal amaranthine
Carousel history spins
Changing reflections pool of time
Moments, seconds, memories, hours
Crawls languidly, to the divine
A contest entry
- Impromptu by x Gemini x.
525 points, ended June 11, 2008, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Thankyou Gemster
Thankyou Gemster im glad you liked it! Yes i stuck to a 7,8,8,8 syllable count. Yes i think there was a missing comma in the last line i think it reads a bit better now let me know what you think
-
Thank you for entering my contest.
Bravo, you've managed to sum up time!
...This is a sweet and simple poem...with not so simple words (which is a good thing!). I like the repition with "Moments, seconds, memories, hours"...very dramtatic phrase, might I add.
But..."Crawls languidly to the divine" seems a bit awkward. It may just be me.
Lovely
-
-
Thankyou for my award Gemster
Thankyou for my award Gemster means a lot
-
-
Good write, Dude
I liked you poem, Rhyme is my fav. I liked the First line best. very clever!!!I really loved the whole 2nd stanza, real nice !!! Good luck in the contest -
-
Thankyou Dora
Thankyou so much for your kind words. Im glad that you liked it!
-
-
Your word is:
Time
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
