Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off when you're in your sweats,
Who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on,
And who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares,
And how lucky he is to have you.
That's the one who truly loves you!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Awwwa...that was such a cute poem! I read a quote kinda like that recently, and you put it all together. It was adorable!!! But I already found that guy!!! YAY ME! lol. Yeah, Cody and I are doin' great! We got into a pretty good fight a couple of months ago, but we're way over it and doin' good! Thanks for the concern and all...
Jess
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don't change anything ... this is charming ... I know, because it works and guys who know this do this, and guys who don't, haven't felt it ... you're right/ that's how you tell.
nice stuff
Moqui
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This is a really sweet poem- a lovely little tribute to teenage love. There are lots of touches which create that fresh, young feeling (for example, being called 'beautiful' not 'hot' - when someone is older and in a longterm relationship, the desire to be called 'hot' rises in priority! ). The 'whos' amd 'w's keep it skipping along nicely, too. A great upbeat poem.
If I were to make a suggestion, it would be that the line 'Who calls you back when you hang up on him' is a little out of place in tone and mood. Why would anyone want a partner who allows themselves to be put down like that and take it? Perhaps it would be better to include that the phone ISN'T slammed down in the first place. My rule-of-thumb with this kind of thing is to see if it would work with the 'he' as a 'she' - would it seem consistant, fun etc' for a girl/woman- one of my friends- to be like this? If not, it might be less emotionally healthy than the rest of the upbeat piece. The line might work in an all-round 'ups and downs' type poem, but for me, it was a little out of place in such an idealised verse.
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I was being realistic. Nobody is perfect and you have you're days. I was talking about finding that person that is so right that if YES you do hang up on a person and they truly do love you they will call you back instead of getting pissed off themselves. I have a perfect guy like that and he said something that he didnt realize that would hurt me and I hung up because I didnt want him to hear me crying but he gave me a minute than called back to see if I was okey and if I wanted to talk about it. That made it better. He's in Iraq right now and its not cheap to call all the way back here and he not only called once to talk to me but than called again to see if I was okay. I hope you understand it alittle better now. Thank you for your comment.
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