If we lived forever
I could love you longer –
I would whisper, like a soft wind of promise
through your silken tresses,
cradle your ladybird love in lullaby ways
and be with you always.
I lay down my whole being,
for the onslaught is too great to bear.
Sweet shards pierce my hungry heart,
as you are kissed by every rose,
part of every song, climax of every dream,
essence of my every worship.
In this new day you turn to me,
I see love reflected, dancing in your diamond eyes;
my sublime soul swims.
I feel velvet touches of your tender lips
as they caress my aching heart,
singing their song of enchanted eternity,
together forever, my heaven-born,
my only love in the misty morn.
Author notes
Photo: by poet
A contest entry
- Love in its best poetic forms....BIG POINTS :) by MaMa-2-be-Cindy.
2300 points, ended June 14, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very nice. Australians do not have the rep of being so romantic!
Congrats on the HM.
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Thank you for the HM...
...and the time you took for this contest. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. -
this is a beautiful piece of poetry, so subtle, and nice metahope used through out, i showed my girlfreind this she said the same, the words you used in this piece are simply devine, best of luck in the contest.
john
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Simply beautiful. This piece softly echoes the misty morn as is so beautifully presented in your image.
Wonderful words
~Pamela 
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This is a wonderfully sweet, endearing love poem and I esp. like the picture which accompanies it.
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thank you, toomysterious.
I appreciate your comment. The photo was taken on my last fishing trip and it is beautiful to climb out of a tent to see that beauty. But, of course the poem is the main thing, and I did enjoy writing it.
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Very nice work
You have penned love for sure here bravo
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Irony of ironies - talking of
Jenny's 'Mist', I find you all fogged up. I just looked out at the coast from my abode and saw fog rolling along a big valley.
By the banks of the Murray?
This love poem is absolutely beautiful; significantly true; delightfully penned and placed in lyrical stanzas.
This love has no boundaries, despite mist, there, metaphorical of times past and to come.
There are elements of thought here that have been echoed in Marvell.
Finally, there is a softness that permeates the poem; a diction that provides a gentle texture although the love is so strong:"I lay down my whole being,
for the onslaught is too great to bear.
Sweet shards pierce my hungry heart".
Thank you, Richard.
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thank you, Lyndon for your wonderful comments.
To be put in the same thought as Marvellis a compliment. He was a master of the rhyming couplet. I can see my feelings in his lines:
"Such did the manna's sacred dew distil ;
White and entire, though congealed and chill ;
Congealed on earth ; but does, dissolving, run
Into the glories of the almighty sun."
I am so glad you see my poem as having elements of softness, because that was my intention. You are kind...
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Beautiful images in this love song. My favorite line is:
"Soft wind of promise." So outstanding I would also include it in my title--many, many applauds for this poem!
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mmmmmmmmmmmm
Just beautiful
part of every song, climax of every dream,
essence of my every worship.
In this new day you turn to me,
I see love reflected, dancing in your diamond eyes;
my sublime soul swims.
Loved that so much, loved all the love filled imagery
Okay I will say LOVE once more hehehe
Thank you
and good luck
Cindy
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Lovely...life is too short...
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