a moment captured
a heart held
a sorrow delayed
just for this capture
of once-upon-a-time
that never was
a flawless fairytale
I knew. You knew
Fate and Karma stippled destiny
that would have us both
cycling and curling back
wishing, wanting
more than was allowed
by captured creation
Author notes
Prompt - If I could, I would freeze time just so mine with him/her would never end.
In a list
A contest entry
- If I could... -closes after 15 entries by Touchof1der.
600 points, ended May 28, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
The elegance of this piece radiates with a light that quenches the thirst of the pallet with a delicate rain that teases and tantalizes the thirst for more, yet is just enough. Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet. Good luck in the contest.
♥ Touchof1der -
-
ty, again Touchof1der......one can take longing as a gift and acknowlegment of something important this way came...or as a burden...I hope I always remember it was a gift.
-
-
From the title
to the last word of this poem the description of 'captured' runs like an unseen and untouchable feeling through this poem. I marvel at your style. It is unpretentious and unclustered, allowing the reader to enjoy its 'feeling'. Its tone a trace of 'unsettling' - its there and yet not there - I like this - its as if you can own yet and yet lose it at the same time. I guess what I am trying to say is that you 'captured' me!! Best to you in the outcome of this contest. Frans
-
-
thank you so very much FranB. A poet coudl ask for no nicer comment. Ty pen friend.
-
-
wishing, wanting
more than was allowed
by captured creation
Such touching words..love this...You write very well...Splendid imagery! All the best in the contest!
-
-
accepting that we cna't laways have what we want ...is a big thing...acceptance...I have surely been learnign a great deal about that..and blogging on it over and over...and soon I shall be able to say I accept that I accept. *smile*
-
-
Hope it will be sooner than soon
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
